Practicing Love in Marriage
Abigail’s Effective Wifely Wisdom
David W Palmer
In the Old Testament, we read a very important spousal narrative. It reveals how a woman can help a man become all he can be; while at the same time, endearing herself to him so profoundly that he cannot live without her. It’s the story of David and Abigail. You can read the whole account in 1 Samuel 25:2–42. It was set in the time between God calling and anointing David to be Israel’s king, and the time he actually ascended to the throne.
First, some history and background leading up to Abigail’s amazing actions and words that endeared her to her kingly husband and help empower his holy kingdom:
After David served king Saul faithfully for several years, eventually Saul became blindly jealous of him. Saul became so enraged at David, despite his years of loyal and victorious service, that he could see murdering David as his only option for preserving his kingdom, posterity, and dynasty. This scenario arose because God had rejected Saul from being king. And this was because of his rebellion, pride, and stubbornness. To replace him, God had chosen and anointed David to be monarch in his place; even though David understood this, he knew he should wait for God to raise him up.
Fearful and insecure, King Saul could see what was happening and he began trying to kill David to remove the existential threat to his throne. This was despite David’s fierce loyalty to Saul and his military conquests in Saul’s name. David had no choice but to run for his life. This began a testing time for David of banishment and being a fugitive—with only God’s protection and justification; he was learning to depend solely on God.
This refining time for David was a real test; he could easily have failed. The one anointed to be king was brought to the point of the most intense temptations, including:
Abigail’s story intersects with David’s during this gruelling and hazardous time. Her original husband, Nabal, was a rancher in the area David and his loyal troops were patrolling. David and his militia protected the farms, farmers, and their property—including Nabal’s—against foreign raiding enemies. Then, to feed the 400 men who were with him, David sent to Nabal for provision in exchange for the protection he had provided. However, Nabal—whose name means fool—didn’t respond favourably. In fact, he insulted David and his men, calling him a rebellious runaway slave; Nabal foolishly refused to recognize his true, anointed king; he spoke as a fool to the foolish image he projected onto David.
Consequently, David dropped his calm wisdom and objectivity; he lost his temper and intended to take this matter into his own hands. He wanted to kill Nabal and his whole clan, and to take by force what he believed was the provision owed to them as their rightful wages. Instead of trusting God to justify, avenge, and provide for him as he had been doing, David launched out to deal with this in his own adjudication and power. In other words, he determined to foolishly kill Nabal in revenge and to take from him.
While David was en route to commit this reckless crime against God, Abigail learned of Nabal’s stupidity and of David’s intended revenge. Incisively, she acted quickly, resolutely, and with very godly wisdom. By intervening in the conflict between David and Nabal, and interceding with David on God’s behalf; she was able to prevent a disaster for David, which would have lost him his destiny. What’s more, she did it in the way only her gender could; but did it with pure, upright holiness, and sagacity. This endeared her so deeply to David’s heart that he simply couldn’t live without her in his life; she re
