Sowing Wisely in Marriage for Eternity
David W Palmer
In your marriage, everything you do or say is witnessed by Jesus—showing him your ultimate attitude to him; plus, it is a form of sowing—either of how you want him to treat you, or of what your true response to him will be in eternity (if he were to give you the privilege of access to his eternal kingdom as his wife). Plus, others are constantly witnessing everything you do and say. When they observe you and your marriage relationship, Jesus wants them to conclude: “This is what God’s relationship with me will be like. He loves, I submit. He provides, I trust and respect him, etc.”
The Holy Spirit explains:
(Ephesians 5:28–30 NLT) In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. {29} No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. {30} And we are members of his body.
If you feed and care for your own body—making it comfortable, cared for, and presentable—you are showing love, and God wants you to do this for your wife. In an amazing twist, the Holy Spirit reveals that the man who loves his wife “actually shows love for himself.” (This type of self love to which the Holy Spirit refers is obviously a good attribute and practice.) Jesus does this for his bride; he loves her: “Christ cares for the church.” Then the Holy Spirit says, “We are members of his body.” This alludes to the following passage:
(Ephesians 5:31 CSB) For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
A man and woman who are joined in marriage—the lifelong covenant of commitment to mutual intimacy to the exclusion of all others—become “one flesh.” This is why a husband loving his wife and caring for her physically—as well as in every other way, is actually loving himself; she and he are “one flesh.” The Holy Spirit further explains the nature of this love, nurture, and care in the next passage:
(1 Peter 3:7 NKJV) Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
A man’s attitude to, and treatment of his wife, not only shows God’s type of love for her; it also deeply affects his conscience. If he does not love her as the Holy Spirit directs, his confidence towards God will be deeply impaired to the point his prayer will be hindered. The Aramaic says that such a man’s prayers will be “subverted”—meaning, undermined, overthrown, destabilized, disrupted, sabotaged, toppled, challenged, weakened—if he doesn’t honour his wife in the way the Holy Spirit directs:
(1 Peter 3:7 APE) And you men, in this way dwell with your wives by knowledge, and hold them in honor as weaker vessels, lest you be subverted in your prayers, because they also inherit the gift of eternal life with you.
Husbands, your wife is “one flesh” with you; you are “heirs together of the grace of life”; she shares the “gift of eternal life with you.” Husband, your eternal future is tied to your wife; love her as Christ loves his bride. Lay down your life for her and honour her as the weaker vessel. Definitely do not use your superior build and strength to hurt her, to bully her, or to force her into subjection. Use it to protect her, serve her, and create for her an environment of complete safety. Provide for her, listen to her, and—just as God does for you—give her what she asks for if she trusts you.
Husbands Practicing Love for Their Wives
Husband, allow your bride to express her personality, gifts, and talents. Encourage and empower her to fulfill her call and assignment in God. Celebrate her victories, walk by her side, always allow her to “find” you when she seeks you (in other words, be available to her emotionally and with your full attention when she needs it), and welcome her boldne
