I have been feeling incredibly anti-social and immediately a little depressed. I am still working through donating and keeping things. In my piles of things I identified a massage chair table that my good friend might want. She said absolutely that she wanted it and took me to lunch as a thank you. At lunch, we discussed my marriage, life growing up, and the reasons for me going on this trip. The vision quest to challenge and rewire my thought patterns. I might be able to do this here right now but I also know me and I will have made excuse after excuse, after excuse about why I didn't do something. Anyways, this is why it has to be carry-on bag living and donating/selling all my belongings and ultimately giving notice to my career of 4 years at this company I am moving on. I am scared that I will go on this vision quest and find I have no passions, I have no gifts, and I am not meant for anything other then to be minion in some corporation behind a cubicle. At least I will know for sure and can accept my fate with dignity and respect. Somehow forcing myself to fit my circle peg into the square hole.
