I'm putting together a worksheet with a few things on it relating to what I want to do moving forward which is provide some options so simple things about safety like the representation agreement an advance directive and I used a group called nidus or knit asst and ID us to put mine together and then i have my medical ID in my phone and then i'm also considering getting a medical ID bracelet with something on it to the effect that long-term antipsychotics or any psychotics over 14 days gives me a necklace these you have reaction and I don't want to be on any of them so the one thing about that though is I don't know if I want to be walking around with the word antipsychotic or no on my body but at the same time it could be helpful I'm just wondering if there's a way to frame that without having to write that stuff because I talked to the company and they said i can write whatever I want so i could write goes to go stick up your butt if you try to pathologize me something like that but at the same time I'm not against being pathologized if I'm sort of past the point of no return and there's a way that's helpful to me in there's ways that are definitely not helpful and I feel like with different things in place I can possibly step up my level of attempting to thrive and then if I attempt to thrive so much so that at some point it appears that i attempt suicide well then that happens but at least I'll be pulled back to some version of my ego self and then also the SAP strap idea having a zap strap and my PRN so those are some of my safety tools not safety as in oh and now i'm going to protect myself from crisis but safety in that if i venture too far into unknown territory like inner unknown territory then i can keep myself safe and then i also wrote on the spiritual emergence network that's a safety tool for dialogue + emotional cpr training which I'm hoping to bring here and the voice is envisioned study club and the voices and visions support group as I found when I went to the group they were very much not into pathologizing that particular so-called symptom and i even have their group guidelines and i says except that voices and visions are real experience same with anything that i've talked about for me it's real for me sanctions of freedom to interpret experiences in any way i like this one about the facilitators not under any pressure to report back to anyone clinically and the facilitator said that other interpretations are more empowering and meaningful and i was thinking about that this morning i was thinking about if i want to put a positive spin on this diagnosis I've been given right then and there it would be scientifically proven that I would be expected to have better results so even if it is wanting to be called a pathology by some professional people if I put a positive spin on it it's going to help me and not just positive spin as in oh I can recover that's the going positive spin right now it's no I can use some of these strengths and abilities that I've gained I've gained empathy I've gained sensitivity and that makes it difficult to function sometimes but those are actually abilities and those sensitivities I can use actually to interpret and find meaning in my experience so by saying the experience is not meaningful is actually denying some of the main faculties that one gains through this process which is empathy and compassion because the process is so jarring and it's so vast that it definitely expands one's range of one's ability to sense and perceive things we can only really see something that we have the contacts for and by being given this vast array of context now we're more sensitive to so many things and that the thing is that the way society is designed most of the stuff that we would move towards in society naturally when we're programmed we actually will recoil from when we lose that programming because we see that it's dangerous and it's not actually how we're naturally wired as human bei
