Description

On Today's Show:
💀 NYC proves once again it’s a hellscape of horrors: one man dies on the subway, and two others take turns robbing and defiling his corpse. Real Weekend at Bernie’s vibes, minus the whimsy.

✈️ A 60-minute mid-air masturbation marathon leaves a luxury fashion CEO traumatized. American Airlines responded with: “Eh, men do that.”

🚽 A tall cis woman is mistaken for trans in a Walmart bathroom, gets screamed at by a fragile Floridian, and then fired for not reporting it to the right manager.

🍆 Prostitute Sagittarius Shawty returns with tales of stinky dicks, poop cramps, and clients who overstayed their 60-minute welcome. Also: surprise nut drip and a bad case of eye contact.

🌭 Tim survives another Costco hot dog encounter and reflects on his monthly weiner mileage. (Spoiler: it’s getting dangerously close to a mile of meat.)

👶 Meet Baby Unlovable™: a cursed doll with a thousand-yard stare, a burlap sack dress, and abandonment issues. Also starring: Little Miss No Name, the saddest toy Hasbro ever unleashed.

🏋️‍♂️ Plus, Mead Skelton weighs in (again), explains “residuals,” and declares his weight loss journey a raging success—despite gaining three pounds. He’s basically an Olympian now.

🦄 Bonus Bits:

• Updates on Sagittarius’ laser facial tattoo removal

• Hot dog PTSD and burp residue

• Tim considers a new line of spiritual voice healing (only $9,995!)

• A few AI-powered covers of Carbon Chaperone — now with ukuleles

00:00:00

 Introduction

02:29:15

 RIP Church Of Debra

03:24:01

I'm Up To 3 Feet Of Hotdogs This Month

06:24:06

 Prostitution Post Game Analysis

16:37:22

 Meade Skelton's Post Birthday Weight Gain

21:33:02

 Creepy Baby Whispers Doll

24:06:16

 Little Miss No Name - The Most Unlovable Doll Ever

28:52:06

 Sign Up For The Sideshow!

30:19:15

 Riders On The NYC Subway Robbed And Had Sex With A Dead Guy

33:25:12

 Disturbing Inflight Entertainment

37:37:00

 Tranic In The Florida Restroom

41:42:04

Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending