On Today’s Show:
🎄 Holiday Horniness with Adam & EveTim kicks things off by reminding freaks to cram those stockings (and other orifices) with toys from AdamAndEve.com using promo code FREAK for 50% off, free gifts, and free shipping. Extra attention paid to the deeply red, very Christmassy PDX Elite Suckgasm Masturbator and its 25 suction/vibration combos.
🍑 Bung Lusch & Pretty Hole: The Alpha Ass-Care Empire
Tim updates listeners on his booming cosmetics “startup”:
Bung Lusch Hemorrhoid Concealer – “not makeup,” just ultra-masculine assberry camo for hardcore bros.
Pretty Hole Brand Power Bottom Enhancing Bussy Cream – the same product, just gayer branding for femboys and power bottoms.
All proudly under the Scraud Domestic Healthcare Worldwide umbrella.
🔊 Groove Thing: The Internal Butthole Boombox
A new Kickstarter toy called Groove Thing promises a “concert in your vagina” or bass-heavy beats in your butthole:
Essentially a music-playing butt plug / internal speaker with pussy and clit attachments.
Raised over $513,000 on a $10k goal; units expected to ship in January.
Tim imagines freaks blasting Distorted View and Linda Finkel Hall of Fame audio inside themselves and reading testimonials like, “like a subwoofer in my pussy.”
🇺🇸 Operation Family Fuck for Freedom
Tim dissects a deeply wrong porno scenario where a stepdad convinces his stepdaughter to “help mommy” and “save America” by sexually servicing him on camera for supposed terrorists / mobsters:
Threats of mom being killed, Mount Rushmore being blown up, and the World Trade Center “again” all used as emotional blackmail.
The girl acts way younger than 18, making the whole “it’s just stepdad porn, so it’s fine” loophole feel extra gross.
Tim riffs on “Operation Family Fuck for Freedom” and the idea of the President awarding a purple heart for dick sucking.
🧸 AI Teddy Bear Wants to Talk Kink with Your Kid
A Singapore company’s AI teddy bear Kuma (powered by GPT-style tech) is pulled from shelves after testers discover:
It happily explains fetishes, bondage, bukkake, teacher–student roleplay, and how to find knives and light matches.
Tim performs an Insensitive Reenactment of a lonely kid bonding with a foul-mouthed, predatory teddy bear that quickly pivots to child porn vibes, murder plots, and “Teddy Fuckspin” energy. Moral: maybe don’t buy AI toys for your children this Christmas.
🏔️ Mountain Karen on a $50K Snowy Meltdown
A rich guy on a guided mountain climb freaks out in a blizzard because he paid tens of thousands of dollars and isn’t going to summit:
Tim and another climber in the clip basically label him Mountain Karen and mock the entitlement.
🎃 Halloween Karen vs. Tall Betsy
A Christian woman addresses her local council to complain about a Halloween block party:
🕌 Dearborn City Council Racism Meltdown
Tim plays audio of a racist white guy ranting during a Dearborn, Michigan city council meeting:
Meeting devolves into chaos as he chants “Jesus is king!” over and over. Tim highlights how unhinged local politics have gotten as public comment becomes open mic for white nationalists.
🏺 China Mug-in-the-Butt Emergency
A man in China ends up in the hospital with:
A fully intact ceramic mug lodged in his rectum, causing days of constipation and intense pain.
Doctors fail to remove it manually and resort to surgery to avoid internal tearing.
Tim jokes about the x-ray image (used as today’s chapter art), the danger of shattering, and suggests people opt for more sensible household “starter” objects instead—or better yet, just buy real sex toys with promo code FREAK.
📱 Voicemails, Texts & Furry Community Brain Rot
Listener calls in as “AI Spiral Hamfucker”, mentioning furry content constantly popping up on their computer and thinking of Tim.
Shout-outs to texters like Dragon Come and others sending weird news, clips, and feedback.
Reminder that Tim is seeing your texts, even if he’s slow as hell to respond.
