🏀 Distorted View Daily – August 7th, 2025 🍉🎙️ On Today’s Episode:
🚩 The Pledge of Allegiance—Westboro Baptist Church Remix Edition!
🍉 TikTok’s Watermelon Challenge: Viral stupidity or viral racism? You decide!
🤧🍆 Blowing snot rockets on puke-soaked penises! (Just when you thought porn couldn't get grosser.)
🏀💦 How many dildos have been launched onto WNBA courts this week? The answer may surprise you (or not).
🏚️ Mead Skelton tries speed dating! Prepare for incel logic, age delusion, and a masterclass in how not to get a girlfriend.
🥤 Junk Food News: Would you eat a 9-volt battery-flavored corn chip? Someone in the Netherlands thinks you would.
Pledge Allegiance to the Fags: Westboro's very special version will NOT be played in schools anytime soon.
Host Health Update: Tim's sick, his mom's absorbing celebrity souls, and medical science is still failing us all.
Rest in Pieces: Lonnie Anderson becomes the latest victim of Patty the Viper’s insatiable soul feast. WKRP will never sound the same.
Sponsor Shout-Outs:
Sideshow Bob wants to control DV for $25—settles for a Mead-heavy episode instead.
Listener Neeti demands black content; gets watermelon challenges and dildos instead.
Mead Skelton’s Speed Dating Saga:
“I’m the tallest, most virile man here.”
“All the women are old!”
“I'm not a predator—I just want to breed, but not with 50-year-olds.”
A parade of delusion, autism, and a little casual racism for spice.
TikTok Watermelon Challenge:
Head injuries, possible racism, and Granny robes.
"Don’t try this at home unless you want to go viral—or to the ER."
Vomit Porn Breakdown:
Puke, snot, and slop—what’s not to love?
If you’ve ever wondered what a 25-minute vomit blowjob sounds like, Tim’s got you covered.
“It’s not the puke that bothers me—it’s the snot-covered penis.”
Dildo-geddon at the WNBA:
Sex toys raining down mid-game.
League officials concerned, fans amused, players dodging dongs.
The suspect in Atlanta: Delbert Carver, doing it for the LOLs.
Snack Attack:
Dutch company launches 9-volt battery-flavored chips—finally, a snack for those who miss childhood electrocution dares.
Listener Voicemails:
Birthday shout-outs, half-assed family greetings, and complaints about missing chapter art.
Support the show!
đź’¸ Sideshow memberships, Patreon, or $25 sponsorships get you bonus episodes and shout-outs!
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Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (STD, you know the deal)
🎂 Happy Birthday, Timmy Boo! (Your gift is probably lost in the mail or stuck in the ass bucket.)
🥱 Shout-outs from depressed callers and their slightly annoyed spouses.
Chapters/artwork might return if Tim survives his mom’s vampiric soul-sucking.
Spread the distortion: Rate, review, and tell your degenerate friends.
Don’t eat batteries. Or dildos. Or snot. Try the chips instead.
💩 Highlights & Low Points:📣 DV Announcements:🥳 Listener Birthdays:🗑️ Final Thoughts:
