Tim kicks off Thanksgiving week by revisiting his dark past as an AOL “please don’t cancel” ghoul, then dives headfirst into the rancid online worlds of dog-abusing TikTok goblins, neo-Nazi child recruiters, and Jeffrey Epstein’s inbox cosplay. Plus: highway exhibitionism, old-school DV prank calls, and why Tim’s eyeballs sometimes decide to go rogue on camera.
On today’s show:
Tim remembers his stint in AOL’s cancellation department, the shady “free months” retention scam, and how every job he’s ever had has been a bait-and-switch (including pushing carts in the rain at Walmart instead of playing with electronics).
Meet Rachel: a filthy, rage-filled TikTok/OnlyFans “star” who lets her dogs piss and shit all over the apartment, saves the evidence in bags, admits to kicking one of them, and even smears dog feces all over her own face on stream—while insisting she’s the victim.
Animal control, cops, eviction, and a “housing crisis” all collide as Rachel explains why her dogs never go outside, why her floor is a biohazard, and why what she really needs is “a big juicy dick” instead of mental health care.
Local news discovers (20 years late) that neo-Nazis are using video chat sites to target kids: Tim riffs on a Chatroulette-style white-supremacist creep harassing children of color, recruiting white boys, and screaming slurs in public with his GDL buddies and “mud shark” signs.
From the Midwest: an Iowa man stands on the shoulder of two different interstates flashing his junk at morning and afternoon commuters because his life felt “blah” and he wanted “a little excitement.”
Tech hell: Jmail, a cursed web project that recreates Gmail so you can log in as Jeffrey Epstein and search thousands of scanned emails—including that now-viral message about Trump, Putin, and “photos of Trump blowing Bubba.”
Listener texts & voicemails: lazy-eye questions, ancient DV prank calls from the Real Talk era, devil-worshipper phone listings, and a breakdown of how Charlie Kirk’s Turning Point machine was quietly rewiring conservative youth politics before he died.
Housekeeping & holiday stuff:
Thanksgiving schedule: no show on Thursday, but there will be a Sideshow-exclusive show on Black Friday.
Black Friday membership deals are coming—Tim begs you to hold off and snag the super-cheap Sideshow offers later this week.
The once-a-year Distorted View Store is about to open: limited-time DV merch run with shirts, hoodies, mugs, magnets, desk pads, “Tim Henson face jizz rags,” and more nonsense before it all disappears again until next holiday season.
Support the show: sponsor an episode for $25 (PayPal: show@distortedview.com), or pledge on Patreon at patreon.com/distortedview for perks including a special voicemail line.
Voicemail: 206-666-4463 (206-66-OH-GOD)
Text line: 4-HAIRY-CUNT (and 206-666-4463)
