On Today’s Show:
It’s a jam-packed Friday freakout featuring haunted abortions, ghost grandkids, pervy American men in Ukraine, and the eternal struggle of pre-ordering a Nintendo Switch 2 without losing your mind—or your place in the checkout queue.
🎮 Switch 2 Rage – Tim details his traumatizing experience trying to preorder Nintendo’s latest console. If you’ve ever sweat through a shirt just trying to give a company your money, you’ll relate.
👻 Alexis K. Tyler Sees Dead Grandbabies – A fetus ghost starts dancing in her room, and somehow this isn’t even the weirdest part of the stream featuring her son, De Niro Red.
💔 Don’t Dictate My Dick – De Niro Red delivers hard truths about toxic relationships, ghost babies, and bitches be trippin’.
🧒 Toddlers & Ashes – A one-year-old boy snacks on Grandpa’s remains. Because why not?
💩 Eco-Retreat Gone to Shit – An environmentally-conscious couple flees Sweden, leaving behind unpaid taxes, 158 barrels of human waste, and dead ducks.
🇺🇦 Creepy Love Tourism – American men fly to Ukraine looking for love (and youth). Tim highlights a standout contender for “Most Likely to End Up on a Watch List.”
🍆 Tariff Panic – With Chinese sex toy imports threatened by massive tariffs, it might be time to hoard those dildos. Tim breaks it all down—and offers a discount code, of course.
🎶 Virginity Parody Anthems – “Willing to Wait,” a horrifying abstinence anthem set to “Old Town Road.” Plus, Tim resurrects his own filthy banger, “Cherabra Venti.”
Listener Voicemails:
🧱 LEGO pieces in the nose, memories of childhood stupidity, and almost dying from a throat lozenge.
🏍️ Lorenzo Lamas BBQ sightings in Ohio—yep, really.
🧑💻 A heartfelt plea: help Tim get Distorted View back on Wikipedia!
Join the Freak Army!Get Sideshow exclusive episodes, bonus segments, and other weird goodies.
📲 Sign up at distortedview.com or via Spotify & Apple Podcasts.
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Featured Phrases of the Day:
“Don’t dictate my dick.”
“Ghost fetus dancing like a toddler.”
“Soup is the quickest way into my pants.”
“Fuck my tits, fuck my mouth, when I gag just point it south.”
Promo Code Reminder:
🌶️ Get 50% off at AdamAndEve.com with code FREAK – before tariffs make pleasure unaffordable.
00:00:00
Introduction
00:21:02
Tim Takes A Lie Detector Test
04:09:16
Nintendo Switch 2 Preorder
11:19:22
Gen Z Is Triggered By The Thumbs Up Emoji
15:20:20
Alexyss K Tylors Son - Don't Dictate His Dick
21:39:19
Creep Tried To Find Wife In Ukraine
30:34:22
New Abstinence Rock
33:39:17
Sign Up For The Sideshow!
35:41:04
Toddler Snorts Grandfather
38:19:15
Eco Hotel Leaves Over 100 Barrels Of Poop
41:54:09
Time To Panic Buy Dildos
47:02:03
Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending
