💥 English Lessons from Japan, Yeasty Pep Talks, and Big Dicks Rising!
On today’s show:
🇯🇵 We revisit the legendary “Zui King English” program where Japanese gymnasts teach important English phrases like “I have a bad case of diarrhea” and “Thank you for spanking me, queen.” Educational AND arousing.
💌 Paying the Island Boys to congratulate your daughter on her first yeast infection. It’s weird, it’s Cameo, it’s Distorted View.
📈 Science says penises are getting bigger year-over-year. Possible cause? Microplastics, Ozempic, or God's delayed apology for the 2008 recession.
☠️ A new funeral trend: dissolve grandma like a bag of jasmine rice! Alkaline hydrolysis may soon be legal in the UK.
🧃 Liquid Death water is apparently cursed and opens demonic portals. Just ask DJ Tanner.
🎵 Whitney Houston karaoke but make it unholy: we sample a drunk bar patron’s eardrum-shattering tribute.
💩 Tito Santana gives surprisingly sage advice to a man who shit himself on a date.
💩 Plus:
Tim promotes his hit poop anthem "Pooh Time" from Pure Hypochondria
Listener voicemails on overpriced fast food, free chemo drug samples, and relationships built on the foundation of Distorted View filth.
🧠 Quote of the Day:
"I want like a restaurant-style soda fountain... filled with me." – Tim, planning his posthumous beverage legacy
🔥 Join the Sideshow for exclusive shows, extra segments, and the warm, yeasty embrace of the Island Boys:
https://www.distortedview.com
📬 Want to weigh in on burial methods or share your diarrhea aerobics routine?
Call the voicemail line: 206-666-4463 or email show@distortedview.com
