On Today's Show:
On today's floppy, free, and fabulously unhinged episode of Distorted View Daily:
đź’Ž Butthole Bedazzling & Colon Catastrophes
Tim checks in on beloved fisting icon HungerFF, who recently suffered a shower douche disaster that tore up his tender chute. Now facing a temporary hiatus from deep anal spelunking, Hunger is in full existential crisis mode. Is he still himself without his hole? According to his doctor, though, he’s blessed with a “long, mobile, floppy colon”—a high compliment in fistee circles. We also hear medical advice on safe anal prep (spoiler: no garden hose pressure washers, please).
🍲 Soup Heist at Publix
A mobility scooter-riding woman takes soup sampling to felony levels, filling 30+ containers of hot bisque at a Florida Publix, groping rotisserie chickens, opening chips, and claiming her Apple Pay just needs to charge. The cops are called. Chaos ensues. DNA fears are voiced. A Venmo miracle never arrives. Eventually, she’s arrested mid-scooter squat, yelling “9-1-1!” at the 9-1-1 responders.
đź’© Pooping in the Beer Cave
A Pennsylvania school district’s director of food and nutrition decides a gas station beer fridge is the perfect pooping spot. Surveillance footage confirms she dropped trou among the tallboys. Turns out, she lived less than a mile away. No excuses.
🚨 Bomb Threat Over Pet Sitting Duties
A Michigan teen fakes a cruise ship bomb threat because he was salty about having to watch his girlfriend’s dogs while she vacationed. The FBI traced the email faster than a Carnival buffet line diarrhea outbreak. Result: 8 months in prison and a new appreciation for responsible dog-sitting.
đź’¦ Water Jug Whizz Kid
A 16-year-old JV baseball player is arrested for allegedly pissing in the opposing team’s water cooler. 15 counts of battery have been filed, and the entire team is suspended. The school district wants you to know: “We are not a piss-soaked sports program.”
00:00:00
AdamEve.Com! Prom Code: FREAK - 50% OFF!
02:09:02
 Introduction
04:57:10
 The Various Sounds Of Power Fisting
07:36:22
 Fisting Enthusiast Interview Doctor About His Beaten Up Butthole
14:22:18
 Pre-Fist Douche Do's And Dont's
17:05:18
 Ladling Out The Law! - Grocery Story Arrest
28:49:06
 Sign Up For The Sideshow!
30:28:00
 Pooping In The Beer Cave!
33:47:05
 The Lazy Way To Call In A Bomb Threat
37:20:20
 Unsportsman-Like Urination
40:04:15
Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending
