🤯 On Today’s Show:
Tim kicks off the week with a real blast from the masturbatory past: vintage 1970s audio “trucker tapes,” complete with absurd sex talk, ridiculous dialogue, and a surprising amount of filth involving bodily fluids and cross-contaminated orifices. It’s truly a Sextastic Tuesday... on a Monday.
👵 Plus, Tim’s mom returns for a round of “What’s That Sound?” where she hilariously misidentifies the noise of a man being crushed by a woman’s thighs. (Spoiler: not a haunted house.)
đź’Š In other segments:
A real-life crack whore shares traumatic tales of corpse-filled freezers, stepfather incest, and plastic-bag defecation while chatting with her daughter mid-dump.
We revisit the bizarre porn genre of “Crackhead Confessionals”—because what’s more titillating than generational trauma and gastrointestinal distress?
New penis size survey results are in! (Spoiler: Men lie. A lot.) Find out which U.S. state exaggerates the most and which claims to be the most honest (it’s Maine, but don’t trust them either).
A meth-fueled birthday joyride takes a wild turn in Florida as a man steals a tourist train, picks up passengers, and tweaks his way to jail. Happy Methday!
Later today, Tim plans to feature more of the “Hollywood’s Cum Freaks” trucker tape in a bonus Sideshow-only segment. Can’t get enough of Sweet Dick? He’s back, baby—and he’s got an educated cock.
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A patron calls in with 4th of July fireworks factory explosion footage (meh audio, great visuals).
Doviday offers sympathy and stories about dealing with aging parents.
Jimmy Boo calls Tim out for confusing Star Trek and Star Wars (nerd alert!).
Yes, yes, yes—Wing was on South Park. We know.
“My pussy is always an open invitation to you.”
“I'm gonna whitewash your whole insides, girl!”
“You got an educated dick—come educate this pussy!”
“Partly redneck with a chance of crystal meth.”
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🗓️ Next Episode: Full-length Sideshow exclusive drops Tuesday!
đź’» distortedview.com
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