"It can be very tempting to communicate with someone you used to date or were married to because that person is familiar and maybe comfortable, but it has the potential to drag you back into a situation you thought you had overcome. Is it ever a good choice to talk to an ex?" In Episode 2, Dr. Drea provides examples from her own experiences of reaching out to exes, and encourages listeners to ask themselves several hard questions with honest answers before deciding to communicate with an ex.
Music: Apologize by Yigit Atilla (Snapmuse)
Show Notes
Processing Questions
Yourself Questions: How are you currently feeling? Are you in a healthy space to be able to handle the emotions that this behavior is likely to awaken? Do you have wise and supportive people in your life that you can process this idea with both before and after the conversation with your ex?
Your Rationale Questions: What are you telling yourself is the reason you should communicate with your ex? Is this the truth or is there another reason such as you are lonely, bored, or horny?
The Truth About Your Ex Questions: Based on your knowledge of your ex, how are they likely to respond to your call/message? Why did you break up with them in the first place? Is this person likely to abuse you (verbally, mentally, physically) if you talk to them or are in their presence?
The Reality of Various Outcomes Questions: Is this person capable of having a mature conversation with you? Will this person attempt to rekindle the relationship? If no, will that bother you? If yes, is that what you want? If yes, why do you want to return to a relationship that has previously failed? Is this healthy for you?
Value Question: Does communicating with your ex demonstrate you valuing or devaluing yourself?
Definitions
Value: The regard that something is held to deserve, the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. - Oxford Dictionary
