DIVA’S TABLE TOPIC: When your In-Laws live too close. WORD OF THE DAY / DEFINITION: Citified – Anything related to the urban lifestyle of living. SOURCE: www.womenshealthmag.com Researchers followed 373 couples since they were first wed in 1986. In each couple, both the husband and wife rated how close they felt to their in-laws on a scale of one to four. Marriages in which the wife reported having a close relationship with her in-laws had a 20 percent higher risk of divorce than couples where the wife didn’t report a close relationship. Conversely, marriages where the husband reported being close with his in-laws had a 20 percent lower probability of separation than couples where the husband reported a relationship that wasn’t as close 1. 1. Draw the Lines (with Your Spouse) Beforehand Make sure to discuss with your spouse what makes you uncomfortable and how much interaction with his folks you would prefer. 1. 2. Let Him Do the Dirty Work If there’s an issue with his parents, ask your husband to handle it first. This strategy has a dual benefit: It guarantees that he’s the primary guardian of the relationship with them, rather than you; and also, it helps avoid unnecessary additional conflict due to misunderstandings—he knows them best, after all 1. 3. Never Badmouth Him to His Folks Avoid talking about your marriage with your in-laws, Orbuch says. Especially avoid talking about troubles between you and their son, because it can open up a line of communication (either critical or “helpful”) that isn’t appropriate. 1. 4. Prepare Your Responses If your in-laws frequently say offensive things, or make you feel as if they’re meddling or judging your lifestyle, prepare responses to their common quips in advance of seeing them. “Instead of being defensive, respond with a simple answer and move on to another topic, or shift focus to someone else at the table,” Syrtash says. SCRIPTURE: Romans 12:9-10 says, “Love must be completely sincere. Hate what is evil, hold on to what is good. Love one another warmly as Christians, and be eager to show respect for one another”
