Oh friends, Episode 47 is raw. You might remember Trey’s recent feelings of excessive output - well, it didn’t end. After two weeks of tallying and nit-picking, it all came to a nasty head on Monday night of last week.
Lauren shares how she was deeply hurt and how her body got her out of bed at 2:45am to journal. Trey describes how he came down to find her and details the conversation they had from 3:00am-5:00am Tuesday morning.
You’ll see how tired Lauren is and yet grounded in her center. She shares how she felt like a Mama Bear for her younger self and knew that if Trey did not get outside help this would be the “beginning of the end,” because this is not her work to do, but his work to tackle on his own.
Lauren talks through her desire to get back to a place of open heartedness, but to NOT have it help against her in any way.
Trey committed to seeking outside help from one of Lauren’s dear colleagues and to join Lauren for a partnered Human Design reading on Thursday - their 1st Anniversary. He promised to get to the root of this wound and cease this maltreatment.
Trey woke up on Tuesday and made a detailed list of things that are his to work on. Despite this work, the day was sensitive and fragile and Lauren shares how her body had the hardest time feeling safe and the tools Trey used to help her access anger - including making her walk at the golf course and giving her permission to call him names and rage at him.
At minute 43:00 they share about some of the guardrails they’re instituting now, even without fully healing. One of these new patterns is ‘TIDY TIME’ and another is sharing our “ouches” nightly.
Want to see Lauren in her anger? Watch the video at minute 47:00 where Trey brings up his birthday and his expectation that Lauren “curate” a magical day for him.
You’ll hear Lauren’s complete disinterest in sex and her disgust with being rushed.
At minute 54:00 you’ll hear Trey say, “if I can’t be that to you, you need to go!”
We cannot force someone to change or to heal or to grow. If they are not willing to do the work, we need to go.
Lauren continually says that she is scared but she is not a victim. Trust is earned through trustworthy behavior and she is ready to see the work.
Lauren is in the water, hanging to the life saver and she tells Trey that she needs him to pull her to safety.
There’s still more to come of this slow journey to resolution - as this was filmed on Wednesday after the crack in their bond on Monday - but they hope you benefit from this real-time look at emotional wounding and the gentle steps they are both taking to heal themselves and their partnership.
If you would like to learn more about conflict like this inside of partnership, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult!
Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator.
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