On Episode 41 Lauren and Trey discuss the different ways they “keep the door open to arousal” through non-sexual foreplay. They each share various actions the other does that allows them to remain open to desire.
At minute 6:45 Lauren shares an image of how small actions throughout the day enable her to clear a path through the imaginary jungle to Trey with a machete or a weed-wacker or a machete… you’ll get the idea!
Lauren explains that for centuries women have been relegated to objects of desire, and how, implementing non-sexual foreplay allows them to become subjects WHO desire. We are people connected to our sexual organs!
Trey asks how partners get in trouble when/if they fail to “machete their way to their partners throughout the day? Lauren responds by sharing that “curiosity is the key to intimacy.”
At minute 11:00, Trey jokingly references men who don’t want sex and Lauren reprimands him for stereotyping. In truth, Lauren has found that the loving partners who are denying their partner’s sex are actually fighting “overwhelm” as they work to provide for the person they love most. Friends, for many and “invitation to sex can feel like an obligation for sex!” You are not alone!
At minute 15:00 Lauren breaks down the fun Business Titles we can develop inside our partnerships, but by minute 19:15 they’re already onto Lauren’s favorite topic, not having “THAT type of sex!”
At minute 23:00 Lauren shares once again how mornings are NOT her tingle time and the mental gymnastics she has to struggle with to remain aroused!
Everyone has Core Erotic Themes and within those themes we find sexual scripts, at minute 25:00, Lauren breaks this down even more!
Do you see long term partnerships breaking apart around you? Have you ever asked, “why?” Well, at minute 27:15 Lauren and Trey get curious about this same thing after an audience member stated that she believes it’s when partners stop growing individually and together!
Trey asks what a person can do when they want to grow but their partner is not interested in doing the same and Lauren gives a blunt but trauma-informed answer. Trey also shares one of his favorite statements, “if you don’t have time and money to grow and date your wife - you’ll be finding time and money for a divorce attorney.”
We cannot force individuals to grow. Trauma-informed care says that we learn the things that are ours to learn when we’re supposed to learn them. We must allow our partners to maintain agency!
If you would like to develop tools to strengthen the non-sexual foreplay in your partnerships, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication and sexual flourishing.
Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.
Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock
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