Episode 54 is a follow-up to Episode 53! Make sure you listen to that HERE. Trey and Lauren dive right into the concept of anxiety as a form of sexual arousal. This is directly connected to Jack Morin’s Erotic Equation: ATTRACTION + OBSTACLE = EXCITEMENT.
Lauren talks about how it turns her on to have sex when other people are somewhere in the house. Trey surprises her by sharing that the spicy sexual encounters they have in public spaces are because SHE is aroused by the sneakiness, NOT because it is enticing to him. This shocks her and is precisely why we should have these conversations with our partners!
Trey explores the sexual benefits of creating a life that allows him the freedom and space to be turned on. He expounds on why he has eliminated porn this week to allow more space for sexual arousal. Lauren smiles, and at minute 9:58 says her favorite phrase, “We turn ourselves on.” Our desire for our sexual partners has so little to do with them and so much to do with us!
Trey talks about protecting Lauren’s space to come into her sexual body and Lauren segways into the concept of desirability. She shares that it’s important to cultivate a life that makes us FEEL DESIRABLE - even our friendships and the types of fun we have outside of the home affect the sex we have. She shares that she gets really turned on thinking about Trey’s choice to begin therapy and the meditation practices he makes time for daily.
At minute 16:15 they unpack their game changing practice of Nightly Check-Ins that includes just two simple questions. “Any ouches today? What brought you joy today?” This modality has given them so many new tools! Lauren was never given permission to have opinions of her own, and this tool of sharing an “ouch” has given her a new and playful tool to express her own voice and thoughts. Trey wants her to share her opinions and this gives her a way to do so! No more appealing here. Watch at minute 24:00 as Trey directly addresses partners whose first instinct is to say things like, “stop being ridiculous.” He questions traditional households where men are in charge simply because of their gender.
They close out Episode 54 discussing the 2023 “Peace on Earth” Christmas Card trend. Lauren shares why she feels this joke is harmful and disgusting. Trey shares how jokes like this don’t even deserve our time or opinions.
If you would like to learn more about sexual turn-ons and turn-offs arousal in your partnership, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult!
Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator.
Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock
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