Britney Griner's triumphant return to the WNBA makes huge headlines as, oh wait. No one gives a shit; Woman makes outrageous claims of sexual harassment after boss uses the question mark; I lose what little dignity I have left and let the Redneck Propane Boys tell the story where I soiled myself on the way to work; Man does something to his penis that I just don't want to write because it's horrifying; Fat-ass woman gets weighed on the luggage scale for lying about her weight before getting on a small aircraft.
