What comes to mind when you hear the word "intimacy"? Do you only think about the physical and sexual aspects of relationships?
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Emotional intimacy is just as important in marriage as sexual intimacy. You can express your emotions openly and safely when you are emotionally intimate.
How do you define intimacy? Intimacy can be thought of as inner closeness and unhindered access, or you can think of it as in to, me or another way to describe intimacy.
Emotional Intimacy: the ability to connect deeply to find common ground on important issues.
As Pastor Jimmy Evans explains, intimacy combines four essential elements: Value, Energy, Sacrifice, and Trust. By using the acronym INVEST, we can remember that intimacy needs or necessitate value, energy, sacrifice, and trust. Let's look at them.
1. Value. The key to intimacy is the unhindered closeness between spouses, so neither must feel threatened by the other's opinion or thoughts. Each spouse must show the other "I value your opinion" through their actions and attitudes. “I care about what you think.”
Make sure you value the opinion of your spouse. Although it may not be how you think, it does not mean it is incorrect.
Intimacy is lost when you disregard and devalue your spouse's opinion.
2. Energy. Marriage takes work. Men and women view the world from different perspectives and have different experiences. Attempt to understand your spouse. Your actions must show that you are working hard to listen to and understand their point of view.
So, you don't roll your eyes at your spouse's differing opinions. There is no judging involved. Neither of you ignores the other. Your relationship requires energy and effort.
3. Sacrifice. As with any relationship, sacrifices are required, and letting go of your need to be right is the first step. Some people are always right and want you to know it. However, sometimes happiness can only come when you let go of judgment and sacrifice being right or winning an argument.
You can often make minor disagreements worse by sharing your opinion too quickly. Being open and honest with your spouse is important, as is standing up for your beliefs. Keeping quiet may be the best course of action in minor matters.
4. Trust. In your marriage, do you feel emotionally safe? Does your spouse? The first person you tell about anything that happens in your life, whether great or awful, is always the safest. Your spouse should be that person in a healthy, emotionally intimate marriage.
Create a consistent, caring environment (safe place) where your spouse feels free to express their thoughts.
Adam and Eve entered the Garden of Eden naked and unashamed. It was an environment of complete purity where they didn't need to hide. Does your spouse need to hide certain emotions or opinions from you? Your spouse may not fully trust you if this is the case.
Intimacy requires value, energy, sacrifice, and trust. You will become closer to your marriage when you introduce these to your marriage.
