Hi everyone welcome back to Sesh sessions with Toren Ylfa
In the final episode of the year, I openly discuss the ups and downs I have gone through dealing with my mental health- from trauma, ptsd and the black cloak of depression; intermingled with the highs of starting a podcast early in the year.
On February 18th I launched Sesh sessions podcast with the hopes of discussing a variety of topics such as current event’s, missing persons through to Russia Ukraine conflict and so on- along with interviewing pretty amazing, inspiring guests from Dani Reardon, The chalk and cheese show, Isobel Askew just to highlight a couple from the first season of 25 episodes-
When the idea of starting a podcast, my first thought was to just enjoy it ,have fun and not to expect anything immediately; I have to say that it has definitely been totally fun made even better having guests come on having unscripted conversation’s.
As for the lows portion in this podcast, here’s a trigger warning:
I mention suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts and trauma
One would imagine - the highs would out-way the lows,right : except it’s the reverse in my case….this whole year has been a severe struggle .’ Regardless of other successes , one constant being at the centre is my debilitating mental illness which has been getting worse,year after year despite being on medication and doing self therapy such as meditation, CBT etc learning to love yourself as part of that process of healing.
Other part is dealing with the darker side being suicidal thoughts,suicidal ideation- feelings of loss of life, self loathing + self harm can cause a conflict in of itself which I’ve gone through multiple times throughout this year in silence.
This also goes into trauma which is just as present as the rest from being mentally, emotionally and physically abused as a child or any other trauma that besides having a mental response, it can also have a physical response as well; particularly for me it changed the way I see the world and even trust people, or i can become more closed off not wanting to talk to anyone or do anything.
I know this isn’t your typical end of year recap but I wanted to be open and honest especially with the lows .
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