In this diary entry, I have a special guest, my mother. Trigger Warning, This is a heavy episode. This episode was recorded back in June of 2020. As the conversation unfolds, our tainted relationship comes to the surface. My sexuality and how she does not accept me has been one of the greatest issues in our relationship throughout my adulthood. I do not blame my mother for my childhood. Our relationship is the way it because of how she has treated me as an adult. I now navigate life believing I will never have the relationship with my family that I desire.
As I continue to accept this, it doesn't necessarily make things easier to believe. I just lean more on those who allow me to be part of their life. As I embrace and love myself on a deeper level, I have been unpacking the internalized homophobia that I carry. Part of the reason for this is because of the homophobic environment I grew up in. Mom wasn't the only one...
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