We launch right in to discussing heightened topics: including SUBMISSION.
Jenny talks about her upbringing in a Brethren Assembly which she defines as a very uber-conservative church structure that teaches and emphasizes, “Men in charge and women obey.”
We talk about what we think submission really means. And how it relates to all relationships.
And speaking of Disney Princesses... (which we weren't here haha, but we do segue into it on the episode)
“Beauty is there, getting abused … but then she acts so beautiful and so perfect & eventually he sees… (the Beast) … She tames the Beast with her codependence … She bows to his demands & then magically he transforms into a Prince… This is why we don’t ask women, ‘why did you stay?' …Because we’ve been teaching them since they were born: to stay.”
Codependency and blaming the victim.
Overspiritualization of abuse; how we fool ourselves into sacrificing ourselves for another’s ego or demands. Related: one-sided work that women undertake to “fix a relationship.”
“The antidote to over-spiritualization is to believe behavior.”
How men operating in narcissism pick strong women and then gain strength from cutting them down.
How feelings and “being sensitive” makes us human.
Definitions:
Disassociation or Dissociation - Dissociation is an adaptive response to threat and is a form of “freezing.” It is a strategy that our brain often uses when the option of fighting or fleeing is not an option. We shut down to draw less attention to ourselves, or in extreme cases play dead by leaving our body and mentally and emotionally shutting down. It is important to know that dissociation is a normal response in the face of trauma.
It is also useful to note that many people oscillate between being hyper-aroused and dissociating. Both experiences stem from the same part of the brain (limbic system) that is not settled and perceives current experiences through a distorted lens of a past trauma.
Excellent article on healing dissociation and reconnecting to one's body on the CPTSD foundation site here.
Mentions:
Song with Snow White and the 7 Dwarves: Daya - Sit Still, Look Pretty
“Submission” reference to Leslie Vernick’s book: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage
Bible reference:
His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” John 9:2
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/northwestern/hometown
License code: U5ESYKFAO2UN3UCH
(Recorded 2/26/22) Jennifer Decker, Heila Rogers
