Before I know what Health At Every Size was – when I ate or drank anything – I asked myself the following: will this make me thin or fat?
And that was pretty much all I cared about.
There was no “will I truly enjoy this?” There was no “how will this make me feel?”
And there was no concern for my actual health. I didn’t really care if what I was about to eat contained a million different chemicals in an attempt to try and replace the flavour of the missing fat and sugars to keep it “low calorie.”
I didn’t care about anything else apart from my reality of “thin-is-good” / “fat-is-bad”.
My obsession with food and weight lead me to a variety of disordered eating behaviours, including:
When I started my recovery journey, I clung tightly to the hope that I could “recover” from disordered eating yet still casually try to lose weight.
But let me tell you this, I was never able to truly heal my relationship with food—including my binge eating—until I fully committed to giving up all aspects of dieting and started seeking “health” in weight-neutral ways.
Health At Every Size, combined with Intuitive Eating and some profoundly important self-acceptance and body image work eventually helped me to break free from the diet-binge cycle.
