《母难日》
余光中
今生今世
今生今世，
我最忘情的哭声有两次，
一次在我生命的开始，
一次在你生命的告终，
第一次我不会记得是听你说的，
第二次你不会晓得我说也没用，
但两次哭声的中间啊！
有无穷无尽的笑声，
一遍一遍又一遍，
回荡了整整三十年，
你都晓得我都记得。
矛盾世界
快乐的世界啊
当初我们见面
你迎我以微笑
而我答你以大哭
惊天，动地
悲哀的世界啊
最后我们分手
我送你以大哭
而你答我以无言
关天，闭地
矛盾的世界啊
不论初见或永别
我总是对你以大哭
哭世界始于你一笑
而幸福终于你闭目
天国地府
每年到母难日
总握着电话筒
很想拨一个电话
给久别的母亲
只为了再听一次
一次也好
催眠的磁性母音
但是她住的地方
不知是什么号码
何况她已经睡了
不能接我的电话
“这里是长途台
究竟你要
接哪一个国家？”
我该怎么回答呢？
天国，是什么字头？
地府，有多少区号？
那不耐的接线生
卡挞把线路切断
留给我手里一截
算是电线呢还是若断若连的脐带
就算真的接通了
又能够说些什么
“这世界从你走后
变得已不能指认
唯一不变的只有
对你永久的感恩”
The Day of Mother's Passing
(Translated by Hao Yang)
In this life
In this life
I have cried most miserably but twice
Once, when my life first began
Once, at your life’s end
I do not remember the former. I heard it from you.
The latter… you will not know. Useless for me to say more.
But in between both cries
There were endless laughters
Again, again and again
Echoing for thirty whole years
You were there, and I remember
World of Contradiction
The world of joy:
When we first met
You greeted me with a smile
I replied with cries
That shook the earth.
The world of grief:
At last we parted
I sent you off, weeping
While you replied with silence
And that was it.
O world of contradiction
Whether first union or eternal parting
I always faced you with my tears
Lamenting that the world began with your smile
And bliss ended as you slept.
Heaven and Hell
Every year, on the day of your passing,
I would grip the telephone, wishing
To make a call to you, mother who has long
Departed, just to hear, for just once more,
Just once more,
Your magnetic, hypnotic voice.
But I do not know the address
Where my mother stays
What’s more, she’s fast asleep,
Unable to pick up the phone.
“Long-distance operator here. To which country
Are you exactly trying
To reach?”
How should I respond?
Heaven… what postal code?
Hell… which district?
The impatient operator
Hangs up,
Leaving me with
A phone cord or
An umbilical cord.
And even if I reached her,
What could I possibly say
“Ever since you left, this world
Is no longer recognisable.
The only thing that has not changed
Is the eternal gratitude I have for you.”
