As far back as I can remember my mother made it a point to be home with us and put her heart and soul into raising not only her children, but also many cousins around my age. Our days were filled with trips to the park and hours upon hours at the beach. Another way we learned to enjoy ourselves was when my mom would have us put on the gloves to box each other or go at it wrestling. Inevitably someone would start crying, but we we’re never to quit and when all said and done we shook hands and went on playing. Another great memory is my dad coming home from work and somehow always finding the energy to play with me, it just so happens one of my favorite things to play with him was to fight. This was especially enjoyable because unlike fighting my older cousins in the front yard, in these fights I somehow came up on top every time or at least that’s what he lead me to believe, but either way it did wonders for my confidence. I must say, I was absolutely lucky to have such loving parents and very fortunate to have the childhood I did.
Now after hearing what I just shared about my childhood, it would be pretty hard to believe that for some mysterious reason as I hit puberty and became a teenager that I would consider the very parents that showed me so much love and support, now my enemies. Also for reasons I couldn’t understand, I became absolutely terrified of fighting which lead to me not sticking up for myself, which lead me to be seen as weak and therefore picked on regularly.
I often self reflect on the choices I made as a teenager and all the bad things I put my parents through and I can remember even back than having a sense of guilt of why I felt and acted the way I did coming from such a loving home. I would see others around me who had it real bad at home, but in my young mind that didn’t make me feel better, it actually lead me to feel even worse about myself. After battling with all these negative thoughts day in and day out, it was only a matter of time before I just decided to stop feeling any type of emotions at all. I’m sharing all this with you to spread awareness that our youth, no matter their background can fall victim to all the evil things this world has to offer. Good parenting is a solid foundation no doubt, with that being said, it’s only natural to start to rebel against our parents or any childhood authority figures for that matter as we become teens. It’s my belief that at this time that we also need something else we can be a part of, to be heard and seen by others. Other peers we can contribute to and gain significance from. Some may find it in a positive form like school, sports or a job, others may follow a more negative path and turn to drugs, unhealthy relationships or breaking the law.
The following is my story and how I went from a Honor Student to Gang Member…
