Description

Insecurity and low self worth can be extremely painful and blinds us from seeing who we truly are.

Believe it or not we are not born insecure, we become that way.  We live in a world where we believe that we must people please, perfect and perform in order to be seen and loved.  This is a pattern developed in childhood based on the beliefs we accumulate when people are critical of us or we feel judged in some way.

We live in a world, where most people are pretty hard on themselves and it leaks into people being hard on other people.   People who have judged or criticized you aren’t bad people, they probably are extremely critical and judgmental of themselves.  The bottom line of all this is that when we commit to doing the internal work and get the help and support we need to grow our ‘insides’ we begin to act differently on the outside.

Confidence doesn’t always come from adding more things to our ever growing to do list and taking more action.  It often comes from dropping into massive self acceptance and compassion by dropping our internal negative chatter, and learning to really love ourselves just as we are RIGHT NOW.

There is no such thing as perfect.  You can totally release yourself from even trying to reach it from today forward.    You can accept yourself right now, as you are today.  You don’t have to make your love for yourself conditional anymore.  You are with yourself all day everyday-so the relationship you have with yourself matters.

Today’s caller Tiffany is taking a huge step toward building her confidence.  So much of this came from her childhood years and her relationship with her father.  Tiffany’s father chose to give up his rights to her when she was just a child.  This caused her to buy into the belief that “Hey, if my own Dad doesn’t want me, obviously I’m not enough.”  Tiffany started to believe that she was in some way defective and that altering herself in some way (her pattern was proving), would somehow allow her to feel seen, heard and loved.

When we don’t receive the love and acceptance we need as children from our childhood, it can leave wounds that run deep.

But Tiffany is learning that building confidence is as much about what you stop doing rather than always what you start doing.

Get curious about your life.  Look around and ask yourself…”what am I attracting into my life?” without self blame or criticism.  Only notice.  What is currently in your environment is there to serve you and teach you.

Listen to my session with Tiffany as she learns to build her confidence and security in herself and her choices.

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Links mentioned in the show

The School of Badassery

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