Thanks for listening ❤️
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Today I want to talk about something that a listener asked me in an email. I’ll keep the name anonymous because it was requested. But this person told me that last week had encountered a really hard pill to swallow. Since he saw a person that caused a lot of hurt in the past and just to see this person made him relive some of the damage this person caused in his life. It took me a whole week to reply to this person after a week of asking friends in the psychology field, life coaches, counselors and even a priest.
Even when you can go to therapy or use one of those mental help apps, there are many factors to the hurt/forgiveness process, when someone gets hurt by another person, and it’s known that we are humans and we all make mistakes, nobody is exempt from getting hurt and hurting someone. And while there are many circumstances that could lead someone to do harm intentionally or not.
Weather it was a person you had a deep connection with or just an acquaintance
Who hasn't been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps your partner cheated on you with your best friend, (which by the way at the end was not a true friend), one of your parents was constantly letting you down when you were a kid, a friend who you trusted and confided a very intimate secret with, and told the entire school about it… Or in extreme cases you probably had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you, or a family member.These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger and bitterness — even vengeance.
Because if you don't forgive, you are going back to that victim mentality and unfortunately you will end up being the one most affected and at the end of the day, simply you won’t find peace. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace hope, gratitude and joy. Forgiveness can lead you to a happier and healthier life. We need to forgive, for our own sanity, we need to step away from that thing they did to us and hurt us, put it in the past, and move on, and I know it sounds like I am not giving the importance that it should to whatever they did to you, it is a selfish act of abandon whatever they did to you and just think about yourself and your well-being. When you don’t forgive someone you voluntarily allow that person to keep hurting you, literally you open the door to become a prisoner of their jail even when you have the key and could just open the door and walk out of that cell. There is a Gift in Forgiveness, give yourself the peace you deserve by forgiving whoever hurt you, I am not saying you forget what they did to you, I am just saying that what they did to you is in the past, the hurt belongs in the past too, keep it there, lock the box, bury it in the depth of the ocean and throw away the key. Learn to see the offense/harm in a way that doesn’t hurt you anymore, see it from outside, don’t relive it over and over.
Forgiveness is not for the person who hurt you, forgiveness is so that the damage caused by that person no longer hurts anymore. It might sound very difficult in the beginning but like everything in life it ends, and the sooner you act on it, the better. I hope you give yourself the gift of forgiving your trespassers, you deserve to be happy. Ciao!
