Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. ... Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you. - Lewis B. Smedes
Live life in the present, not the past. Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don’t allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments.
Our life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much larger. Some are villains and others are good guys. Embrace them all, for their role in shaping who you are, and move on to the next act.
“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, … but because you deserve peace.” - Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Risk of Holding on to Anger: Karen Swarts, Doctor and Director of Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic @ The Johns Hopkins Hospital explains; “There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed.” “Chronic anger puts you into fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in the heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease, and diabetes, among other conditions.” “Research also points to Forgiveness and the health connection, as you age.”
Studies over the past two decades have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health; lowering risk of heart attack, improving cholesterol levels, reducing pain, as well as levels of anxiety, depression, and stress - increasing feelings of wellbeing.
Taking responsibility means that you’re willing to say, “I may not understand why I feel this way, why I have this illness, why I’ve been victimized, or why I had this accident, but I’m willing to accept it as part of my journey.
When we take responsibility for having the experience, then we have a chance to also take responsibility for removing it or learning from it. Discover what its message is for you. If, on the other hand, we choose to blame someone or something else then we find ourselves waiting until they change for us to get better. And since that is unlikely to occur we are left waiting with nothing.
Be kind instead of right. Send love. Parable about a wall with white and black birds.
Antidote for resentment- Suggested Book – The Gentle Art of Blessing by Pierre Pradervand.
To bless means to wish, unconditionally and from the deepest chamber of your heart, unrestricted good for others and events; it means to hallow, to hold in reverence, to behold with awe that which is always a gift from the Creator. He who is hallowed by your blessing is set aside, consecrated, holy, whole. To bless is to invoke divine care upon, to speak or think gratefully for, to confer happiness upon, although we ourselves are never the bestower, but simply the joyful witnesses of life's abundance. It's impossible to bless and judge at the same time.
To bless is the ultimate act of giving and forgiving.
Pradervand's original pamphlet ended with "P. S. And of course, above all, do not forget to bless the utterly beautiful person you are."
