(0:00) Hello there, my fellow pilgrims. (0:05) I hope you are having a good journey so far. (0:08) Bon voyage! (0:10) Bon voyage! Bon voyage! (0:12) Say it again.Bon voyage! (0:15) Happy mileage! (0:16) Happy journey! (0:21) I believe with all my heart (0:23) that every challenge to learn, (0:26) every heartache, (0:29) every lesson we have to learn (0:31) is a upgrade to do for each other, (0:34) our spiritual each other. (0:36) A new service, (0:37) a new progress, (0:39) new ties, (0:41) new tank full of petrol. (0:47) Yes, and that is what prayer can do for us, (0:49) and that is what prayer can mean for us.(0:51) Let us allow it. (0:54) So yesterday was a day. (0:57) I have used this example before, (0:59) and I make love of it.(1:07) In the church, (1:08) and then they call it the Nicodemus, (1:10) the teacher of all teachers. (1:13) And yesterday was a day of all days. (1:17) It was one of those days (1:18) that I will remember for a long time.(1:21) It has become a new baking, (1:25) a new... (1:26) Yes, it is a new... (1:29) I don't know what I am talking about all the time. (1:32) Hello, hello? (1:39) So, yes, a new one. (1:41) It is a new one.(1:43) New ties, new oil, (1:45) new wipers, (1:47) a new car, (1:49) a new something. (1:51) It is certainly a new one. (1:53) So yesterday morning I woke up, (1:55) and I put it on, (1:58) and I was so freaking long, (1:59) and it is a bit of a (2:02) hibernation period, (2:03) a cocoon period, (2:05) a period where I feel like... (2:08) Yes, and you will probably find out, (2:10) the amount of podcasts (2:12) is considerably less, (2:13) and if you listen carefully (2:15) where I drive, I drive, (2:17) so, (2:19) the amount of podcasts (2:21) that I have made in my own normal way, (2:24) of sitting, praying, (2:25) in my center bed, (2:28) it is happening less and less, (2:30) and yes, it was a bit of a (2:31) technological challenge, (2:33) but you see, (2:35) it was a different kind, (2:36) it is as if (2:39) my creative (2:40) levels are decreasing.(2:44) And I am very uncomfortable with that. (2:49) But, (2:50) a few weeks ago I told one of my friends, (2:53) it will take hard work (2:54) to get my (2:55) sparkle back. (2:58) It takes a bit more effort, (3:00) it takes a bit more, (3:01) it does not come naturally, (3:02) there are things that need to be done.(3:06) And yesterday morning, (3:08) I woke up for the very first time (3:09) in a very long time, (3:12) it was as if, (3:13) my sparkle is back, (3:15) and I did not even notice! (3:17) Welcome honey! (3:19) Welcome darling! (3:21) And, (3:22) yes, (3:24) I made an impulsive decision, (3:27) my sparkle was (3:28) actually quite empty, (3:30) and there was a place in my work (3:32) that I built up a nice vortex, (3:35) we have a relationship, (3:37) me and the people we work with, (3:38) it is usually very nice for me (3:40) to throw a sparkle at that specific place. (3:43) So I made the choice, (3:44) I will drive my colleague's girlfriend, (3:46) and I can then (3:47) pick up all our gossip stories, (3:49) but, (3:51) if there is a negative consequence, (3:53) I'm going to live from hand to tooth (3:54) with my petrol tank, (3:56) or am I going to drive alone, (3:58) picking up my voicenotes, (4:00) which I have been looking for a long time, (4:02) and I have never been in my life (4:03) with voicenotes. (4:06) And I decided, oh no, (4:08) I want to drive with my girlfriend first.(4:11) And I climbed in the car, (4:12) and I saw it for the very first time, (4:14) and she saw it for me, (4:17) and she said, (4:18) I said, I chose to drive with you, (4:20) because it is my pleasure to drive with you. (4:26) And she said, (4:28) a box has arrived for you at work, (4:31) and we are sorry, (4:32) we opened it and looked, (4:35) and only later realized, (4:36) it is for you. (4:37) And I said, oh yes, (4:40) it is my theme box.(4:41) And she said, no, it is not a theme box, (4:43) it is a box from your dad. (4:45) Now, at this point, (4:47) I want to tell you, (4:48) in this context, if you don't know about me (4:50) and my family's worries, (4:52) it has been 18 months (4:55) since I blocked them (4:57) from my life. (4:59) After two years (5:00) of intense observation, (5:02) coaching, (5:04) I started thinking in the morning, (5:06) there are 8000 people (5:08) who chose healing.(5:13) And I don't make a lot of money, (5:15) so what could I have done with (5:16) those 8000 people? (5:19) So in any case, (5:21) after two years of observation, (5:23) I realized, (5:24) I don't get anything out of those relationships. (5:27) Most of the time. (5:29) All I get is demands, (5:30) like eternal demands, (5:33) criticism, I am insecure, (5:35) I feel I am not good enough, (5:37) because they break me down, (5:40) and I realized, (5:42) I don't need them anymore.(5:43) I am 40 years old, (5:46) and I gave them the last (5:47) piece of advice, I invited them (5:48) to my vacation for a while. (5:53) And (5:54) I wanted to invite my brother first, (5:55) because he talked my head off (5:57) to invite my dad, (5:58) and that was the best and the worst thing that happened. (6:01) Because, (6:06) that was the last time, because I realized, (6:08) we are never going to see each other again.(6:12) And that was (6:13) the worst, (6:14) and I saw (6:15) what they were doing to me, (6:17) how they treated me, (6:19) I literally felt like (6:21) I was a small piece of hell, (6:23) and then a massive piece of heaven. (6:26) Like when I was with my dad, (6:27) I was in love, (6:29) and when I was there, I had goosebumps. (6:31) They literally held themselves to one side.(6:34) I think they were afraid (6:36) that we would (6:37) break up, I don't know. (6:39) And when I was there, (6:41) with them, (6:44) then it was like, (6:44) oh, look at us, (6:46) oh, look at our tears, (6:47) oh, enough with us. (6:50) It was insults, on insults, on insults, (6:53) on insults, on insults, (6:54) and I was so sad.(6:57) And the good thing was, (6:59) my dad came up to me and said, (7:01) you don't realize that we need this. (7:04) You realize, we have seen (7:05) that they (7:06) don't give words, (7:08) and that's not what a family is, right? (7:12) And (7:12) they collectively decided (7:16) that I would (7:16) put boundaries in place, (7:19) and for every boundary (7:20) that I put in place, (7:22) there was so much counter-production, (7:24) so much repression, (7:27) that eventually, (7:30) a lot of them (7:31) blocked me on WhatsApp, (7:32) because I felt like if they wanted to bully me, (7:34) I was going to spend the least amount of money. (7:36) And it's amazing how much (7:37) less bullies I get, because the fact that (7:39) they have to text me, and they have to (7:41) sign off, or have to pick up the phone (7:43) to tell me, because WhatsApp is too easy, (7:45) so they don't do it anymore.(7:48) So 18 months ago, (7:49) a year ago, last year, April, (7:51) a month, (7:55) there was a lot, (7:57) when my first grandchild was born, (8:02) I had (8:03) seen on my phone, (8:05) my dad's (8:06) messaging voice, (8:08) and I said to him, (8:10) you know, this is the biggest moment of your life, (8:12) you are missing out. (8:14) Instead of someone else avoiding the fight, (8:16) who isn't even here, (8:19) who thinks (8:20) your child's birth isn't important enough (8:23) for them to spend a day (8:24) at work, (8:28) and you're still fighting their battles. (8:30) What kind of nonsense is that? (8:31) You're missing the biggest moment of your life.(8:35) And all you do is (8:35) fight, fight, fight for someone else, (8:37) which isn't worth it. (8:41) But, in any case, (8:43) the punchline came (8:44) when I had suspected for a year that they were (8:46) scammers of me, and I (8:48) was like, I'm going to catch them, it's like (8:50) playing chase with monkeys. (8:52) So I would tell one story, and tell the other one, (8:54) and then I would find out (8:57) how early they were together, (8:58) and then they would get their (9:01) solution, and (9:02) it was very cute, it was very entertaining.(9:04) I could hardly cancel it. (9:07) But on that story, (9:08) of how they all got stuck for (9:10) six months, (9:13) they said to me, (9:14) they miss you, and I said, why do they miss me? (9:17) Do they have to hang up on me (9:18) or do they have to make fun of me? (9:20) I just made it harder, (9:22) it's just not fun anymore to talk to me. (9:25) WhatsApp is fun.(9:26) So it's much easier to communicate with me on WhatsApp. (9:29) If you're going to enjoy it, (9:31) I'm going to make it easier for you. (9:32) It's as easy as that.(9:35) The next thing I did, I thought, (9:38) our guard (9:40) is literally there, (9:42) and they're getting their guards to (9:43) protect us. If that guard (9:46) starts (9:47) breaking into our house, (9:49) or starts shooting, (9:52) we're going to be on fire. (9:53) And I think we're (9:54) raising the same (9:58) negative thoughts (9:59) as cows about parenting.(10:01) If your parents don't fulfill their role, (10:03) and all they do is hurt you, (10:05) can you protect them? (10:08) Look, so, (10:10) daddy's born, (10:12) I don't have to worry about him, (10:13) and I say, well, if they miss me, (10:15) they have to pick up the phone and call me. (10:20) The message has just been delivered, (10:22) I get a call, (10:24) and the call (10:25) six months after the 4-year-old (10:27) and I haven't heard anything from them (10:29) since I heard it, (10:30) and the first thing (10:33) they say is, we miss you, (10:35) we want to see you more, (10:36) you don't have to worry about us, (10:38) and I say, I don't care. (10:42) I said, (10:44) I fought for three years, (10:47) stood, begged, (10:48) prayed, to say, (10:51) let's work on our relationship, (10:52) it's breaking, (10:54) and it's falling apart.(10:55) We're talking about a case, (10:59) and I've just decided, (11:01) I don't want to play anymore. (11:05) And I said, and I went for advice, (11:08) and my dear, (11:09) if I say, I feel very sorry (11:11) about this situation, (11:13) then it will never be explained. (11:15) It's just, you're wrong, (11:18) you're so sensitive, (11:20) that you, how dare you (11:22) say so much nonsense.(11:23) I called them, (11:25) so we had this call, (11:26) in April last year, (11:29) and I said, (11:30) I'm still ready to work on our relationship, (11:33) but for 40 years, (11:34) we've been proving ourselves, (11:35) we can't do it on our own, (11:37) we need professional help. (11:40) And his reaction is, (11:42) I don't care, and he's on the phone. (11:48) And that's it.(11:53) And yesterday at work, (11:55) that's where the package came in. (11:57) We're back in April. (11:59) And that's where the package came in.(12:01) The package, (12:04) was addressed to my workplace, (12:06) but what my colleague told me, (12:07) is your name. (12:09) My name wasn't even there. (12:11) So they opened the package, (12:13) and thought, it's just another delivery, (12:15) because there was no exception to say, (12:17) this is for Noria.(12:19) No, it's just another package. (12:21) That's our work address. (12:22) The package was filled with four or five, (12:28) you could see, (12:29) and it was a two-sided gift.(12:31) If someone gives you a bath salt, (12:33) you give them a box, (12:34) it's all man-handled. (12:36) You can see, it's not splinter-free. (12:41) A bunch of random goods, (12:42) which is all two-sided, (12:44) because the goods are already opened, (12:45) the seal is broken, (12:49) and a letter.(12:51) And it's only when you open the letter, (12:54) that it's already (12:55) written on (12:57) scrap paper, (13:00) Hello Noria, (13:01) Hope it goes well. (13:03) With us, it's going very well. (13:05) My driver told me, (13:06) One, hope it goes well, (13:08) is nothing.(13:09) You ask someone, how is it going (13:12) with you? (13:14) And then you wait a second, (13:15) to hear their response, (13:17) because if they say, it's going badly with me, (13:19) you've asked out. (13:22) Two, it's going very well with us. (13:25) How can it go very well (13:26) with you, if you (13:29) don't talk to your oldest child? (13:30) If your oldest child has blocked you? (13:32) How can it go well? (13:34) One, it shows that you're pretty good (13:36) in a psychopath test.(13:39) Or two, you're blind in denial. (13:46) Here's your Christmas gift. (13:48) Not a Christmas present.(13:50) I didn't even get a Christmas present (13:51) on Christmas Day. (13:53) And we were in Thailand. (13:55) We brought back a souvenir for you from Thailand.(13:58) Under the box, (13:59) there was a 350mm (14:02) magnet from Thailand. (14:05) So it was clear (14:06) that there was another way (14:09) to reach (14:10) Thailand. (14:11) We're going on a 200,000 rand (14:13) holiday.(14:16) They were in the Maldives. (14:19) And they paid 20,000 rand (14:20) per night (14:23) to stay there. (14:24) I don't give people their wealth.(14:26) But you know what? (14:27) You don't have to (14:28) ask our neighbors (14:31) how I get my wealth. (14:34) But everything I bring back (14:34) is a magnet. (14:39) But the deeper thing was (14:42) that you know (14:43) that (14:46) nothing I do (14:49) will make you (14:50) treat me like a human being.(14:53) How is it (14:54) going with you? (14:57) Or (15:00) I realize (15:01) I messed up. (15:05) Can we talk? (15:07) What did I do (15:08) to make you so sad? (15:11) How can I (15:12) play a positive role (15:14) in your life? (15:18) Nothing. (15:20) Even if I don't talk to you (15:21) for a year.(15:24) Even if I know (15:26) that there are thousands (15:27) or not thousands, (15:28) there were a lot of people (15:30) who helped me make (15:32) money. (15:35) And as if that wasn't (15:36) enough, (15:38) the only thing I got from them (15:40) for the whole year (15:41) was the fact that (15:43) the whole family (15:44) turned against me. (15:48) Well, shame on them (15:49) if they want to say that.(15:54) But (15:56) it is (15:57) once again the story of my (15:58) life (16:00) where I realize (16:05) what's in it for me (16:07) are just a few things (16:09) that were stolen from me (16:13) a year later. (16:19) So that's my story. (16:23) I pray a lot about it, (16:25) obviously.(16:30) I pray for healing. (16:31) I know God has given me a lot of healing. (16:44) So (16:44) that's my story.(16:48) And I can never (16:50) forget it. (16:52) There are people in my life (16:54) who did everything to fulfill (16:55) a certain role (16:57) in their lives.
