Hello,
my fellow human beings.
Today, I am
here as a humble mortal navigating a small frustration. You know, the
kind that feels so minor yet somehow manages to demand an audience
with your soul? Well, here we are. Yesterday, I reflected on
my Habakkuk
3 podcast, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude
because—guess what?—God did show up. He answered those prayers.
But today? Today is one of those days where I feel like I’m
standing in line at Heaven’s Help Desk, and the line is… not
moving.
It reminds me
of Leviticus
8. Before the priests could perform their duties, before
they could step into the sacred, they had to wash themselves. This
isn’t a casual rinse-off; this was a deliberate preparation to show
up before God, clean and ready to do the work. So here I am,
spiritually washing myself before jumping into the content for the
three podcasts I’ve lined up next. Because, darling, I don’t know
about you, but sometimes the prep is just as holy as the delivery.
Now, something
that stood out to me in Leviticus
8 is how often it says, “Moses did exactly as God
instructed.” Over and over. Moses followed clear, step-by-step
instructions like he was assembling divine IKEA furniture. And let’s
be real—don’t we all want that? I don’t just want vague ideas
like “trust the process” or “God’s timing is perfect.” I
want instructions.
“Step one: do this. Step two: do that.” Like Moses had.
And here’s
where things get real. A friend of mine follows this ex-Satanist
turned Christian, and when they describe the detailed rituals they
used to perform, it makes me feel like we, as Christians, are showing
up to a cosmic battle wearing flip-flops and wielding pool noodles.
Where are our tools, our ceremonies, our clarity? Yes, the abstract
nature of God’s guidance is beautiful—it allows us to apply it in
our own way. But sometimes, I crave something more tangible.
Something specific.
Speaking of
specifics, I’ve been working on my first course, Chastity
PT, for ten days now. Ten. Days. And you know what’s
funny? I’m impatient. I mean, what even happens in ten days? I
don’t think there’s an animal on Earth that gives birth in such a
short time. Yet here I am, expecting my project to be fully grown and
ready to conquer the world. I keep reminding myself, “Naudia,
it’s brand
new. Be patient.” But patience is not my strong suit.
At night,
during my downtime—which I’ve nicknamed “dark time” (shoutout
to my bodily
fluids podcast)—I re-evaluate. I listen to the
day’s recordings, tweak them, and add some zazazoom with sound
effects and songs. Music is my gift, my love language, and I want to
share that with you. But here’s the kicker: copyright.
My biggest frustration.
So, I’ve made
a decision. For the next month, until the 22nd of December, I’m
pressing pause on new sound effects and tracks. I’ll only use
what’s already on my laptop. I’m giving it to God, letting Him
work on my heart. Maybe by the end of this month, I’ll realize my
podcast is good enough as it is. Or, maybe, He’ll give me a backup
plan. Either way, I’m surrendering it.
And here’s
where we land for today: I’m washing, waiting, and trusting. Maybe
Moses had it easy with his divine instructions, but maybe, just
maybe, the abstract nature of faith is the gift. It teaches us to
trust, to adapt, to lean in. So, let’s see what God has for me—and
for you—in this waiting season. Stay tuned.
I am not blind, nor am I living in some kind of oblivious bliss.
The irony of my frustration isn’t lost on me. Maybe, just maybe,
the sound effects and the music I’m so attached to are the
modern-day equivalent of yeast or honey in the sacrifices described
in Leviticus. And if you’ve followed my previous podcasts, you’ll
