To my dear friend with her first baby wrapped in her arms hoping that she's "doing it right", girl! I have a message for you today!
And for the rest of us:
How do you feel when you sing this song with your kids...
"There's a RIGHT way to live and be happy. It is choosing the RIGHT everyday..."
For me, I cringe a little every time.
Yes, I believe in Choosing the Right. I have worn CTR rings my whole life also.
But not until recently have I noticed how that thought doesn't actually make me feel so great.
If there is a right or wrong way to do things, I am often, if not always, doing them wrong. And that feels terrible. And my brain makes that mean that I must be a terrible mom.
But I am trying to Believe that I AM a Good Mom!
And You ARE a Good Mom!!
You are not wrong!
You do not have to make yourself wrong!!
You may do things that you wish you hadn't. You may have a long list of things that you want to do but can't seem to make them happen.
You are still not wrong. You are Good. And you are trying. "Beating yourself up" is never helpful.
So say it with me now... "There is no right or wrong way to be a Mom!"
again. "There is no right or wrong way to be a Mom"
If your brain rejects that idea and may even feel like it's a little bit scary, I get it. I grew up with the all or nothing "black and white" thinking also.
But I've noticed over the years how this thinking is not serving me.
When I believe that there is a right or wrong way to do this gig, I feel pressure and I choke. Every time.
But when I believe in loving Heavenly Parents who sent me to earth with my divine attributes that I inherited from them, full well knowing that I'd use my agency and "mess up" time and time again so they also provided me with a Savior?! Oh yeah. That's when I can start living! I'm not paralyzed by the prospect of perfection or perish. I am actually free to choose joy and eternal life by not being scared of making mistakes, failing, and going to Hell.
I believe that because of Jesus Christ, I can use my agency to choose whatever I feel directed by Him to do.
It's not about right or wrong, per se. It's about making choices and learning and growing which only happens through trial and error and strength from the Lord to try again. To repent over and over and over and over again.
You will be a Mom forever. You have a long time to practice, refine, repair, and practice some more.
It's all Good, my friend! And you ARE Good!
As always, if you'd like some help with any of this, please reach out! I'd love to help you believe you ARE a Good mom! And then you will start living into who you have been all along. It's awesome!! Let's get started. You've got this!!
