In this thought-provoking episode, Chris Abraham explores projection — the tendency to assign one’s own issues onto others — and offers insight into protecting yourself from it.
We cover the psychology behind emotional overreactions, the desire for narrative-driven memory, and how boundaries, de-escalation, and self-awareness can serve as armor.
“If you notice someone else’s cringe… ask what part of yourself you’re still hiding.”
A subconscious defense mechanism where people externalize their own feelings or flaws.
Often disguised as critique or overreaction — but really about the speaker.
Can be manipulative if not recognized early.
Ask: “Is this really about me?”
Separate feedback from projection.
Don’t internalize criticism from people with no leverage over your life.
Chris shares life-changing lessons from his ex-girlfriend in recovery:
❌ Don’t give advice unless asked.
👉 Three fingers point back when you point at others.
🙏 The Serenity Prayer: Accept. Change. Let go.
🛑 Not everyone in “healing spaces” is safe — some are predatory.
The Blanket Battle: Chris chooses de-escalation over performative masculinity when his girlfriend demands he “defend their blanket” during an outdoor movie.
Cultural Misreads: Irish flirting and British banter are misinterpreted as aggression.
Memory as Motivation: Chris theorizes people create or escalate conflict to generate exciting, memorable life stories — especially those with hyperfantasia.
“People aren’t always flirting — sometimes they’re testing you.”
“Projection is how people tell on themselves.”
“You don’t owe anyone a reaction if they can’t affect your rent or peace of mind.”
“Action heroes? They’re just theater kids who leaned into the cringe.”
Q: How can I spot projection?
A: If a reaction feels disproportionate or weirdly personal, ask: “Is this about me — or them?”
Q: What should I do if someone’s projecting onto me?
A: Stay calm. You can say, “That sounds like more about you than me.” Or disengage entirely.
Q: Is projection always bad?
A: No — it’s often subconscious. But it can still be harmful if unchecked.
Q: What does memory have to do with projection?
A: Chris believes many seek noble or dramatic experiences not to do good, but to remember something good. Drama becomes “mental clickbait.”
Projection: Attributing your own issues to someone else.
Projection Protection: Recognizing and resisting manipulation or emotional hijacking.
Aphantasia: Inability to visualize images mentally.
SDAM: Difficulty recalling personal experiences.
Hyperfantasia: Vivid, intense mental imagery.
Mental Clickbait: Drama pursued for memorable “content.”
Durability Test: A healthier reframing of “shit tests” — testing someone’s response to pressure.
Mensch: Yiddish for a person of character and integrity.
De-escalation: Managing conflict calmly before it erupts.
Chris closes the episode reflecting on the therapeutic power of conversation, reminding listeners to:
🔍 Stay self-aware
🧠 Filter projection from truth
💬 Ask direct, curious questions
🎧 And don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share
See you in Episode 4!
🔍 What is Projection?🧠 Projection Protection 101🙏 Wisdom from NA/AA (via Michelle Nolan)🧩 Stories, Memory & Identity💬 Favorite Quotes❓ FAQ📘 Glossary (Shortened)🔔 Outro
