I went a little out of order from how I usually do it because today marks the one year anniversary of my moms transition and she definitely deserves her own segment... I tried to be as succinct as possible in this, and so there's a lot I didn't get a chance to say about her and how I feel about her more, but I've been making it a point to talk about her and how I feel more often in other episodes. This episode talks about the making of Damn Mom Really and a little about my mom, (which doesn't feel like I took enough time but...)
It feels like so much time has passed and yet none at all. I'm still dumbfounded by this entire thing, and spirit is a powerful thing because you can't tell me she's not here. It just feels like she's not in the house or something? Enough about me and my life has changed that I feel like it should feel like she's missed out on a significant part of my life, but at the same time, it feels like nothing has happened at all. I'm really surprised I made it through the first year without her earth side... I couldn't even last a couple hours without talking to her before her transition. I'm kind of confused with how I feel a lot of the time so when people ask I say "I'm alive". I don't feel much of anything honestly. I float through life, checking off the days as an accomplishment and a marker of how much closer I'm getting to seeing her again .
I miss my momma in ways that words can't explain. I can still vividly picture all of the grand and minute details of this day, last year. Every single one. She is my love letter, my world, my best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life, my perfect peace, my ride or die, confidant, the best person in the entire world, my soror, my rib, everything and even more. There's not enough words in the world to explain how I feel about her and theres no colors or melodies beautiful enough to encapsulate her essence, so I'm not even going to try.
I more than love you mom 💜🦋
