January 5th
Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
If you’ve spent any time with a group of children, you’ve probably seen what happens when two or more of them disagree on something. Rather than calmly talking through the issue, their voices get louder and louder, and the tone of their voices can change quickly to being very pointed and harsh. They don’t realize they are doing this, of course, because what matters most in that moment is being right, or proving the other person wrong. You may have experienced this at some point yourself, growing up in this world, and have seen how hurtful these kinds of interactions can be, and how long relationships can be affected by them.
The sad truth is that this doesn’t only happen with children. It seems that no matter how old we are, we can often find ourselves responding with cutting words or bringing the verbal hammer down on those with whom we disagree. This is especially true when it’s someone that you have a close and meaningful relationship with. It’s not uncommon for husbands and wives to let their words fly when conflict arises, doing far more damage than good. Brothers and sisters can say all kinds of nasty things to one another, arguing about all kinds of things. Unfortunately, the fallout from using our words in these ways can be devastating. How many relationships are broken because the tongue has not been tamed?
This proverb teaches us self control. When you respond to someone, respond with softness, or in other words, gentleness. This is challenging for us because we can feel that if we don’t compete or overpower the other person in the realm of verbal warfare that we will leave ourselves defenseless. And yet, over and over again the word of God teaches us to respond with a soft answer rather than a harsh one. You see this example in Jesus when he was arrested and put on trial. He faced all kinds of verbal abuse and yet when he spoke, his words were careful and subdued. We see similar responses in the book of Acts with how Jesus’ disciples responded to the persecutions they experienced.
A violent word may forcefully win the argument, but it almost certainly will not win the person with whom you have conflict. A soft word is a self controlled word, and a self controlled word brings far more stability to a time of conflict than a harsh one does. You will no doubt have plenty of opportunities today and tomorrow to practice a soft response, which it’s important to note, is still a response. God is not calling us to not speak up, but he is calling us to speak up in a way that is full of honor, respect and love. None of us want more wrath and fury in our lives. All of us want peace. Consider this proverb today, and know that if the Spirit of God dwells within you, you have the ability in his power to change the use of your speech to be an instrument of grace, goodness and peace, rather than a weapon of war leading to hurt and pain. There is hope for our speech, and thanks be to God for that.
