Proverbs 18:13 - If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.
Have you ever been having a conversation with someone who responds to you before you even finished your sentence? Have you ever been having an argument, and the other person comes back at you while you are still talking? If you answered yes to these two scenarios, then you have something in common with just about everyone who has ever lived.
People like to talk more than they like to listen, at least, that seems to be the case with most people. There is a certain eagerness to share a story while someone else is sharing theirs. Some people can hardly contain themselves when somebody says something they disagree with. Why does this happen?
One of the main reasons is because of our pride. We all tend to think that what we think is right, and therefore if we have the opportunity to say what we think, we are going to take it. After all, if someone else is wrong, we certainly don’t want them to finish their thought or else they could convince someone else of what they believe. But that’s not all that pride leads us to do. Pride also causes us to close our ears when they should be open to what is being said to us.
Answer this question. Can you answer a question correctly if you haven’t heard the entire question? In most cases, the answer is no. Without the context of the entire question, how do you know how to answer? Well, the truth is, you don’t. You may think you do, but in thinking this way you make more assumptions than you may realize, and you have a better chance of not answering the question at all.
One of the most overlooked tools in our conversational arsenal is listening. We have public speaking courses, and we assume that most people who have been in school know how to listen because they have to listen all the time, but in all honesty, most people simply do not know how to listen. They’ve never learned the art, and their relationships suffer as a result.
Only a fool would answer a question before they’ve heard the whole thing. Only a fool would make an argument in a discussion without listening first to what the discussion is even about. If you do speak up without listening, you may say something you regret, and shame will follow quickly after. Learn to listen, and wisdom and honor will follow. Can you think of times when you would have better served yourself and others had you waited to speak and listened first? Today, you will have more than enough opportunities to listen first and speak second.
In humility, work towards believing that it is better to have a fruitful conversation than it is to get your point across and persuade others of it. Just because you say something quickly or with force does not mean you are saying anything helpful. Take your time with your words by opening up your ears to the words of others. You don’t have to agree, but at least the person you listen to will know that you’ve heard them. Be slow to speak today, and quick to listen.
