"One of our most fundamental needs is for social connection and a feeling that we belong," says Vanessa Bohns, associate professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University. "Saying ‘no’ feels threatening to our relationships and that feeling of connectedness."
Yes, they're that important - we've made a series out of boundaries! We feel so strongly about the need to set boundaries, that we've devoted time from three shows now, talking about the importance of setting boundaries. There may be a 4th episode as well.
Creating and holding boundaries is not easy - it's a practice you must repeat consistently to get the results you want. We humans are social creatures, so when we tell people "no" or set firm boundaries, it feels weird initially. Our whole focus as a species is connection, so choosing to disconnect seems at odds with who we are. But when we set a boundary with someone, we're telling them how to best interact with us in a healthy way.
Despite all the weirdness you may feel, it's essential to tell others where we begin and they end. We'll help you get there!
Vanessa Bohns quote from "More Power to You" book by Angela Jorden.
SolePower Podcast is hosted by Angela Jorden (angelajordencoaching.com) and Cheryl Burke (resettingjoy.com).
SolePower Podcast theme "A Delicate Operation," composed by Gabriel Harley.
