Welcome to the GIST. Most of us would agree with the idea that focus is a good thing. But is it? What if we spend too much of our time focusing on the wrong things. This is where cultivating gratitude can help us direct our attention towards the right things. We talk a lot about gratitude and there is no better time than the Thanksgiving holiday to be reminded about all the benefits of grateful living. Here in Canada we just finished celebrating this holiday and next month Americans will be doing the same. There are many festivals around the world that happen throughout the year that include opportunities to give thanks or simply reflect on life.
Hopefully the attitude of thankfulness continues beyond these occasions and becomes a daily practice. While I feel that mindfulness and gratitude go hand in hand, sometimes the latter is a little more easily accessible and tangible. Acclaimed mindfulness teacher, author and researcher Jon Kabat Zinn defines mindfulness as 'paying attention, on-purpose, moment by moment, non-judgmentally'. It can be practiced through formal meditation which allows you to sit quietly and notice your thoughts. And then extended to daily living by noticing your thoughts as each day unfolds and bringing yourself back into the moment that you are experiencing.
To me, gratefulness is simply another flavour of mindfulness because to be grateful, you also need to notice small things happening in each moment with an open rather than a judgmental mind. We get so caught up in our days, rushing from one task to the next, always thinking of the future. So often it doesn't even occur to us to be grateful for any part of our day. But slowing down to notice the abundance in our lives creates a deep and lasting sense of joy. It might be as simple as taking note of our healthy bodies and the hundreds of processes that have to happen lock step to allow us to function. Or it could be soaking in the colours on a forest trail. Or appreciating the miracle of technology that permits us to do innumerable things that we often take for granted.
Gratitude for others is also incredibly helpful in our relationships. We are quick to focus on the flaws of other people, especially people we interact with frequently like partners, children, or colleagues. Acknowledging other people's limitations is important, especially if they are causing harm in some way. But by and large, relationships are much more enjoyable if we choose to shine a light on the many wonderful qualities that other people might bring into our lives.
Of course, being thankful in good times is much easier than when we are facing challenges. But even in those moments, we can consider whether we are potentially blowing a situation out of proportion. Are we letting small problems cloud our ability to see all the good in each day that is happening right alongside. By shifting our focus to all that is going well, we can put problems in perspective and handle them with more grace.
Grateful living is not about being relentlessly positive which can be toxic to ourselves and others. Rather, it is about acknowledging life in its entirety, including difficulties, but not letting those difficulties overtake our minds and blind us to the beauty in life. Perhaps the hardest time to feel grateful is when we feel like we have failed, when things didn't go as expected or we are dealing with a deep sense of disappointment.
At the heart of these feelings is fear, that we can't handle the consequences of a certain failure, or that we will be unable to correct it. It is easy to slip into catastrophic thinking during such times. It may feel almost impossible or utterly ridiculous to even consider gratitude when we are so down. It might only be in hindsight, when we have come out of our dark mood and sufficient time has passed, that we can interpret a particular failure as a lesson that we grew from in unexpected ways.
