Everyone thinks growing up in a cult is hard. But, that's not the hard part. The most difficult part of all is LEAVING.
In this Part-2 episode, my friend Amanda and I are back in the studio. I share my story of what led up to me leaving, I share the racism in the cult, and how I finally got myself to make the decision...to then uproot my entire life and start over, at age 30.
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Teaser and Trigger Warning
00:17 Intro
01:08 Sound check
02:09 "What's the best compliment you've ever been given?"
03:19 "Is this incentuous?"
04:52 Starting the episode
05:44 Su*c*de Ideation
07:15 The Worst Curse Word On the Planet
08:14 Amanda continues story about feeling su*c*dal
11:04 The meaning of life (according to Mormons)
12:09 I continue my story (Noticing Overt Racism in Fundamentalist Mormonism)
14:29 The religious story of how everyone got their skin color
25:05 I start telling others about my upbringing, and begin traveling
26:54 The realization I had looking out my window of a flight
29:56 Experiencing Hell
33:01 Origin of my internal conflicts
33:25 Reaching my decision point
33:49 The moment my life changed—the audio-note.
41:48 Personal reflections on that moment of the audio-note
43:38 Willful Blindness as a means of protection
46:12 "How the h*ll did you do that, Calvin?"
49:01 Beginning my transition out of the cult
50:48 Lessons from leaving
53:46 Looking ahead to future episodes (Wait…is that Kelly Slater??!)
