Arrogance, that feeling that you are better than another person, leads to coldness and indifference to their plight. This is another version of Timtum Halev - a dull, numb, and unfeeling heart.
This is the precise state of being that we just spent so much effort learning to eradicate!
In this chapter of the Tanya, the Alter Rebbe presents the correct attitude towards others that we need to inculcate within ourselves.
_*Be humble before all people*_
How is this possible 🤷♀️?
You’ve got to look at three other factors:
▪️ The overall trend - the direction ⬆️⬇️ the person is moving in.
Is he progressing ↗️or regressing ↘️ ?
It’s very possible that one person descended from Rung 10 down to Rung 9, while another has
advanced from Rung 1 to Rung 2.
▪️ How much progress was there?
One person descended 1 rung while the other increased by 2 🪜🪜
The most significant factor is:
▪️ How much *effort* 🥵🥵was invested in the process?
How can you compare someone healthy and fit 🏃making a leap
and a person with impaired mobility 👨🦽who successfully takes one step?
▪️ ▪️ ▪️ ▪️ ▪️ ▪️
Applying these 3 factors changes your entire perspective towards others.
True humility and empathy are developed through practicing what our sages taught:
_*Do not judge a person until you have been in his circumstance*_
A person is the product of his circumstances.
Perhaps the home environment where he was raised was problematic, while you were raised in a warm and loving home.
Perhaps he underwent some tragedy or some trauma, while your life has been a lot smoother.
If _you_ had experienced the same challenges in your life, would you have reacted any differently…?
It’s possible that he struggles with intense passion and temptation.
No one other than him is aware of how much energy he expends just to stay sober and not fall victim to sin…
While you are a colder, more somber person who naturally isn’t attracted to physical pleasure in this way not due to anything you’ve done but simply because you were created in that way.
Comparing yourself with his ability to withstand temptation isn’t fair because passion isn’t equally distributed. Each person has different inclinations and predispositions.
No matter the situation, we are challenged to judge the other person favorably.
yourself is:
Do I invest the same energy to overcome _my_ challenges as this person expends in overcoming his challenges?
This will bring you to feelings of humility and empathy.
The Rebbe says something very important here:
Even if you do face significant challenges in your life and you are a very passionate person, and you work in a tough environment that puts you in direct contact with temptation, you have no excuse or justification to sin.
In human beings, the brain is wired to control and direct the heart.
Through studying and implementing within yourself the correct mindset, you can learn how to redirect, distract, and overcome the negative habits and traits that have become such an ingrained part of yourself.
~~~~~
Before judging another person, you need to ask yourself:
To what extent do I push myself beyond my comfort zone in my personal battles🤺?
It may be that the person in front of you struggles with the basics while you haven’t given in to temptation in a long while.
But do you push yourself to pray properly?
Praying 📖 is part of your routine. Do you push yourself to really, really connect 🔗🔗with G-d and mean every word you are saying?
Praying properly is really hard. The time of prayer is literally battle time ⚔️.
The struggle to control your mind from wandering and to really be present in your prayers s a battle just as strong as controlling yourself from sinning!
Do you push yourself to do this properly every single day?
Or do you cut yourself slack and say that what you are doing is good enough?
If so, how can you judge another person and expect _them_ to engage in a battle ⚔️ ⚔️ in whatever area they struggle with?
