There are people who do evil acts, even if they possess a divine soul. If you love him - does that mean you are endorsing his negative behavior?
It’s understood that you have to take a position against evil and not enable it. Evil should be hated❗
But how does this jibe with the true and deep love we are enjoined to have -*for every Jewish soul*_❓
The Alter Rebbe explains how we are to balance these opposing emotions:
_*Regarding what is written in the Talmud that whoever sees his friend sin is obligated to hate him, and also to inform his teacher to hate him*_"
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This applies only where the following three conditions are met:
🟣 It’s a friend with equal social status and who is close to you, so you have the responsibility and the ability to admonish him.
🔵 It is someone who observes Torah and mitzvot, because only someone knowledgeable in Torah is held accountable. If someone doesn’t know what is expected of them, their misdeeds are considered accidental.
🟢 You already approached him personally and discussed the issue with him, yet he did not relent.
For all other cases which do not meet the above-mentioned conditions 👉🏻 only love 💛💚💙is appropriate!
We learn to behave this way from the sage Hillel the Elder who said:
_*Be a disciple of Aaron - love peace, pursue peace, love all creatures, and bring them close to Torah 🫂*_
Every single person deserves love and affection, even if he possesses not a single positive virtue, beyond the fact that he is simply a creation of God. It is for this reason that Hillel chose to use the word “Creature” - which does not have the most positive connotation - and not any other word for “Person”.
This is the *only* way to draw someone close to you.
In the poetic words of the Tanya, _*Draw him closer via thick cords of love*_.
Through this, _*Perhaps he will be able to draw him closer the Torah and the service of G-d*_
Each person has free choice. We cannot coerce a person to change. However, if there is to be any hope for improvement, it will only happen through love.
But what if all that love doesn’t help 😕?
Even if you haven’t be successful in rehabilitating this person, _*At least you have not missed the opportunity to fulfill the commandment to love 🫂 your fellow Jew*_.
Now let’s return to the kind of person who _does_ fit the profile with the 3 categories we mentioned above: Someone who is close to you, who knows better, and you’ve spoken to him but he refuses to listen -
_*It’s a Mitzvah to love them as well!*_
You’ve got to hate their bad deeds ❌ but love their inner essence 💫, the innate goodness ✔️ within them.
Continue to love *the person* 💖, but not the acts he did.
Anger and love are mutually opposing forces 👈👉.
When you are angry, it’s as if your love went to prison⛓️💛⛓️...
🙆♀️ Is there a way to love someone who hurts you 💘or is engaged in self-destructive behavior 😖?
The Alter Rebbe teaches us how to maintain a very delicate balance between continuing to love ❤️the person while clearly not condoning or agreeing with his actions 🙅♀️.
What is the secret tool 🤫?
Compassion 🥲
Love is the trait associated with our forefather Abraham, whose entire life was focused on loving kindness and helping others, even undeserving strangers.
Compassion or empathy is associated with our forefather Jacob.
The prophet Isaiah stated, _*Jacob (compassion and empathy) redeems Abraham (love)*_
It is possible to live in a world where you can maintain a relationship with people who do bad things to others and behave destructively to the world, and yet to not get hurt by them.
It’s even possible to not be angry with them 🙂 .
How?
By arousing compassion and empathy for the 🥲struggle they are facing, which has brought them to such a lowly and difficult situation.
_*Empathy eliminates hatred 👎 and awakens love👍*_
When you have compassion for the person and the challenges he faces, you can awaken feelings of love for him, too!
