Do your relatives misunderstand your neurodiverse kids and mistreat them?
Do you ever feel like you need to protect your kids from your relatives?
On today's episode, the Dads talk strategies, scenarios, and scripts to help you navigate the holidays with solid boundaries with family and neurodiversity.
Some things to consider saying in your script:
We all are excited to have a good time together. Here’s what I would love from you to my family in order for that to become successful.
Here’s what our day tends to look like, and here’s what our family looks like in that.
The change in routine and level of excitement will be, at times, overwhelming, and here are some things we say and do to help moments of heightened sensation.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or concerned, I’d love for you to talk with me about it rather than with my kids. (We want the tension to be handled with the adults first so we understand each other)
I’m the one my kid trusts the most, and I’m the parent, so the discipline is most safely understood when coming from me. It means the most for you and for my kid when you enjoy each other rather than having you discipline him.
My kid has certain needs that might not always fall in line with others’ expectations. For example, he needs to get up and move rather than sit at the table for a set period of time.
Have someone else who understands the situation be there to offer safety and calm as well.
Other things to keep in mind:
If I don’t speak up for my child, then they will experience a loss of safety.
It’s impossible to know how things will go, so apply grace, especially to yourself. If you need to give yourself some time to center, don’t feel guilty about it. Take that time if you can get it so you can best show up for yourself and your family.
Consider whether visiting family is in fact in your best interest.
Don’t forget to have realistic expectations.
Relatives might say they understand neurodiversity, but the truth is that we are still loving an individual. Self-control looks different for everyone, and in every situation.
As always, thank you so much for your support. We will get through the holidays together! For more, check out theadhdads.com, and visit us on all the socials.
