What’s the myth that you’ve told yourself about how you came to be? What’s your grand story? Join us as we take a deep dive into the stories we tell ourselves, and what that narrative does about our outlook and our own introspection, as well as the survival of our relationships, and how we can help those relationships thrive rather than be swallowed up in despair.
You receive a text from your spouse that says you need to call immediately. What is the story you tell yourself? How do you interpret that message?
Do you see a time of challenge as an opportunity for redemption? Listen and find ways to come out of the tunnel, into the light, in a powerful way, strengthening the love you share with the people who matter most.
We create stories to help understand who we are, and we can modify those stories in an attempt to continue to define our current and future state. For example, let’s say I land my “dream job,” and it’s one I and my family celebrate as a bright and hopeful light for today and our foreseeable future. Then, over time, I find out that the job is not only challenging in ways I didn’t anticipate, but it also is consuming more time than I envisioned. If stresses at home become overwhelming, and my marriage is suffering, I might then change the story about landing the job as one that resulted in my marriage falling apart. A story is often not fixed within, but can take on a decisive form, which can lead to us making real decisions based on that current and assumptive narrative.
So what can we do to create some great depth to our stories within? How do our experiences and connections help us with our internal narrative?
We all have experienced that “Aha!” moment many times. That often is a result of the story we tell ourselves pairing up and complementing with additional information we receive rather than simply conjure up. Or the “Aha!” moments happen because we/our stories are challenged by another narrative.
To be blunt, when we reject tribalism, or confirmation bias, we find that the stories we tell ourselves can be challenged in very productive and powerful ways. For example, if my relationship is in a state of tumult, and I’ve been telling myself or have been told that I have every reason to maintain my position and feelings, the narrative within is struggling for an opportunity to grow and be modified. But if I allow for my story to evolve through curiosity, I’m opening up the opportunity for resolve and deeper connection. My identity story isn’t being stripped away, but rather breaking new ground, or at least enriching the soil, whether that relationship be moving into a new phase of conflict or peace. It furthers our story. It can solidify the narrative as well as move it in the direction of understanding external influence.
Our stories are resources for mental well-being. We tap into them to understand life and make decisions. If they’re affirming, they can strengthen our confidence. If things are tough, changing the story to be something good can be a little self-defeating. So living in the moment, sometimes, is a safe choice, because meaning can shift.
When our stories within are empowering, we most likely will have a sense of emotional wellbeing. When we operate out of cynicism, and we feel like we don’t have much control, we are more likely to associate those stories with negative outcomes. If we have strong connections attached to our stories, we find hope. Redemptive stories are often a result of overcoming adversity or suffering. All of those stories are a part of the human experience, most often shared, so our identity is found in relationships.
As always, thank you for joining us on our journey. Please subscribe and rate and review our podcast. We would be so humbled by your support. For more, please check out theadhdads.com.
