Relationship problems can arise from various sources, but according to The Gottmans, there are four main culprits: contempt, stonewalling, criticism, and defensiveness. Contempt involves disrespect and disdain towards one's partner while stonewalling is the act of shutting down and withdrawing from the conversation. Criticism involves attacking one's partner's character, rather than addressing the specific issue at hand. Defensiveness is the act of denying responsibility and blaming the other person. To avoid these destructive behaviors, it is important to communicate openly, listen actively, and take responsibility for one's actions. By practicing empathy and understanding, couples can build stronger, healthier relationships.