In this episode, we chat about anger and its dichotomy. On
one hand, it can be one of the most destructive emotions that reside in human
beings, by wanting vengeance on those that we have been wronged by and the slow-burning embers of resentment, shame, and guilt that is buried deep with and suppressed until one day it causes a problem; such as a crisis in health or seeking to destroy another.
The other side of anger is that it can be useful to stop a
habit such as smoking or dealing with someone's behaviours which are no longer acceptable to us. This form of Anger can help us reach a "threshold" where we say to ourselves enough is enough.
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00:00 Intro
00:44 The different experiences of anger
00:54 How we construct our unique experience of the world
01:33 Similar yet different
02:10 Community Anger
03:36 The impact of our communication skills
04:09 What we feel when we are not heard
04:53 The impact of suppressing our emotions
06:09 Anger as burning embers destabilizing from within
08:55 The damage of long-term anger
09:25 Avoiding confrontation and your boundaries
10:14 Alternatives to avoiding confrontation
11:29 How the British express their anger
12:14 Ignoring makes it harder to voice
13:27 Acknowledging and delaying the love-heart connection and Betari’s box
15:08 Buying some processing time to assess what is important to us
16:53 Positives to anger
17:20 Getting us beyond threshold
18:52 Its purpose in protecting our boundaries
19:29 Righteous indignation and challenging injustice
20:20 Assertiveness and being intentional with our words
21:30 How well do you listen?
22:43 How we construct our responses
25:00 How to really listen
26:14 Otonashi- mindful silence
27:42 The effort it takes to truly listen
28:16 Building our responses around assumptions
29:13 Flash responses and old embers and wounds
31:30 Putting out the embers
31:51 Angry cleaning or using it as motivation for change
32:33 Choosing how you experience anger
32:51 Stages on our journey to Flashpoint
34:01 Dissipating the anger
35:36 Dealing with corrosion
36:30 Information gathering
37:00 Someone has to go first with the listening
38:11 Breaking patterns through listening
38:50 Choices over the relationships we invest in
39:22 Outro
