In this episode, Becky and Kristen discuss loneliness and how the pandemic has increased this very real and painful feeling. We need other people and to know that people care about us. The world right now is very affected by loneliness. It affects our children and social media seems to be enhancing and contributing to a feeling of isolation and a belief that we don't quite measure up.
During this episode, Kristen is in the midst of having Covid and she feels isolated and is confronting deep feelings in herself about her children, their lives, the hardship they face in this day and age and that loneliness is a feeling that none of us really want to experience. We run from and avoid it as much as we can. We do many things to try and avoid this feeling, such as drinking alcohol, over-eating, doing drugs, shopping, even exercising too much. Even being surrounded by other people who can leave you feeling lonely.
Becky says that there are different kinds of loneliness. Losing a pet or a spouse is a different kind of loneliness than someone who is new at school and doesn't have any friends. There are a lot of health issues that can arise from loneliness as well. You can experience heart problems, depression, anxiety, higher stress, poor sleep, and you can also be at risk for drug abuse to name a few. Loneliness can lead to a stress response in the body that can contribute to many downstream health conditions.
Feeling loneliness and like you don't measure up can create stress as you begin to ask yourself, "Why don't they like me?" or "Why doesn't anyone want to talk to me?" To live in that stress all the time can create chemical havoc in the body--even if you are trying to avoid the feeling of being lonely. Feelings don't just go away. They live in your body until you bring awareness to them. Handle your loneliness feelings in order to have better health.
In this world now where people meet less and less in person, it is a very tricky time. In this post-Covid world, how can we best reach out and connect with people? Kristen suggests that if we want to still do social media going forward (since it's likely not going anywhere), we should assess whether it is meant for connection or for comparison. Building a bridge of communication can create a connection whereas just showing off about yourself can create a desire to compare and create separateness from one another.
Getting out again and connecting to people in real life can be very helpful. Becky joined a group called Pace which is an online group of people who are going through similar situations. She joined in order to help herself feel less intimidated about speaking up in a group setting. There are also local Meet-Ups and hiking groups, local libraries that have courses and groups, volunteering opportunities, and churches that all may have your people to connect with.
If we could find a way to use social media to help people connect better, that could also be a good idea. People are creative and we need to be more proactive about it. Kristen reiterates how important it is to find your people. Ask yourself Who am I?" "What do I believe?" "What are my values?" in order to find the right people to connect with.
In the grand scheme of things, perhaps this pandemic is here to show us how to find our way out of loneliness and back to connecting more with others. Seeing the bigger picture of life, maybe something like the pandemic is happening FOR us instead of TO us even when it feels really bad right now. But we will get through this because we are very strong and very resilient, creative and intelligent. We are animals who are born to survive.
The creativity that can spring from his hard situation can mean forming new connections, getting along better, tolerating each other better. It's a great opportunity for all of us.
The positive about Kristen having Covid and feeling lonely lately is that she realized that she has...
