Kristen is doing a bonus today about a topic that she loves dearly: limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs, or false beliefs, are the beliefs we created as little kids that we needed to have in order to make sense of the world when we didn't have language to help us understand what was going on.
Our brains had to interpret what was going on and we had to make meaning out of things and create a narrative or story s that we could survive.
As little ones, we thought we were in control of everyone in the room, so if something happened that was traumatic or even just somewhat benign, a child has to interpret that in a way that makes it so that they can feel safe and they can stay alive and they can stay in control of the situation.
So, that might mean you got smacked upside the head and you decided it was your fault because that way, somehow you could behave differently and next time that might not happen and you'd survive. Or, something as simple as Mom went to get some laundry out of the dryer at the same time you came to show her a picture of something and then you interpreted it as , "Oh, Mommy doesn't love me. I am not lovable. Next time I'll do something else. I'll be funny and I'll make her laugh or I'll make her pay attention to me in some way, so she doesn't leave me and go do something else like check the laundry."
This is all happening at an unconscious level for a child and the limiting beliefs are very important for the child. They actually are protective and they kept you safe your whole life. But when you become an adult, they're outdated and thery're not helpful. They actually get in the way as you grow up. These beliefs end up becoming a burden.
For instance, there might be a belief of, "I need to be useful instead of having fun because I am only loved when I accomplish things." Another one is, "I need to stay quiet. If I'm too loud, they'll get mad or they might hit me or they might tell me I'm a bad girl or a bad boy. I better be quiet and I better play small." Or "I need to play small because if I play big, somebody's feelings are going to get hurt and they're not going to like me anymore. So, I want to make everyone happy and I'm just going to please everybody and I'm going to do the right thing, and I'm going to get approval and praise." Or, "I'm going to be a bad little kid ad do the wrong things and I'm going to get attention that way." Either way, they have a belief that they can control a situation and make Mom and Dad love them more, be happier, calm down, etc.
These beliefs though--even though they aren't at a conscious level as you get older--are insistent. They start taking over your life. They keep showing up. So, if you have patterns of not being able to keep a job or lose weight or you have all these obstacles and fears and challenges and you can't make a relationship work very well, there's a good chance it's because these beliefs are running the show. They are on a subconscious level and they will literally dictate your life.
For instance, you decide to eat well and exercise five days a week. You're going to do the thing, consciously, that everyone says is a good thing to do. The doctors, the media and everyone agrees that losing weight and being healthier is a good thing for your body based in science. But when we try to only tackle it on a conscious level, this weight loss stuff often does not work. And it's because the subconscious part of you that is like, "Well, I don't know, eating sugar has never killed me before...let's keep eating it. This whole thing about eating more vegetables is hogwash because for all I know..." (Me being this subconscious part of the body that is in charge and has all these limiting beliefs stored in it) [this part] is saying, "No. You have never tried this 'healthy thing' and for all we know, we could die."
So, you're like, "I don't care. I'm going to just go and do the thing I'm supposed to do.' So, a week...
