In this episode Dani and Erin dig into the topic of shame and how it has shown up in both their lives. They also go into Erin's process for relating to some recent shame they experienced in their life related to money and discover that this process has more to do with moving from a dysregluated state to a regulated state. Shame and the negative self-beliefs that come with it are dysregulating; listen in to hear how you can move from shame to regulation.
Key Highlights:
- What is shame? I am bad vs. guilt, I did bad. Shame comes from childhood/adult experiences, we aren’t born with shame beliefs.
-Shame core belief examples: I am not enough, I am bad, I am stupid, I am too much.
-We can’t really move from believing 'I am not enough,' directly to believing 'I am enough.' It will be much easier to start with accepting that we believe that we’re not enough first, and then move into regulation.
-Trauma-informed work on oneself is NOT invalditing the belief that you are not enough; i.e. saying ‘I am enough' is invalditing to the part of yourself that feels and believes you are not enough.
-It helped Erin to accept that they believed that they are ‘bad with money,’ because they were able to move into regulation after this…even though they still don’t necessarily believe they are good with money.
- The ideal is stepping out of dysregulatng beliefs and experiences, into regulating beliefs and experiences.
- Remember: you are worthy because you are, you are enough, because you are.
