Today I’d like to discuss values VS feelings as it relates to relationships. I shared that in the past I have gotten myself into some sticky situations because I allowed my feelings to always sway my decisions and that I assigned meaning to how I was feeling. In the episode, love at first sight, I conveyed how I assigned meaning to my experience, thinking that this person I felt tremendous feelings for might reciprocate one day and we would be in a relationship together. Turns out nothing ever came of the situation. Nothing was there. My emotions were not the truth of the situation. If I could time travel back to that situation and rely upon my current values, or standards, which is that I have to see actionable steps and reciprocating behaviors from a possible love interest instead of getting carried away in my feelings, then I might not have suffered from so much obsession and limerence in that scenario.
Relying on values more instead of emotions means making decisions and responding to situations based on your core principles and beliefs, rather than being primarily driven by your immediate feelings. This approach emphasizes rationality, consistency, and long-term perspectives over the transient and often fluctuating nature of emotions.
I also discuss preferences VS values.
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