On episode 11 we’re honored to talk with Monica Welty who reads a beautiful piece about her grief soup—what’s in it and how she cooks and doesn’t cook it. Monica’s soup includes Love and Time. She says, “Add tears. How much? Maybe an ocean.” She goes on to say, “Cry as much as you need, as many bodies of water no matter size or depth. Just cry, straight into your pot.”
Monica’s son Harvey died when he was one day old. She started writing right away. She tells us, “Writing saved my life.”
Because she is/was so open talking and writing about Harvey, other people felt comfortable to talk too. She felt like she was going to die if she didn’t get her thoughts and feelings on the outside of her. She began publishing words on a blog and on Facebook. People really resonated with her writing, her vulnerability.
She says, “If I can be a voice others can hear and read and feel less alone in their grief, that felt like a really important contribution.”
If there’s something she’d say to someone grieving it’s this: “This is natural. Trust grief. Allow yourself to do the things you need to do. Find people who can sit with your grief and hold your grief and don’t create more work for you.”
She further says, “It doesn’t get better but it does get easier. It shows up now as a much more whole experience. My grief has taught me to live in the paradox of being human. It’s probably my best teacher. There’s a sweetness to it now. It’s a more complete and whole experience that I can handle.”
She offers these resources: briefencounters.org and The Dougy Center for grieving children in Portland, Oregon.
Monica Welty is a massage therapist, mother, partner, and writer. She has been published at the ManifestStation, featured on the Risk! Podcast, and occasionally posts new writing at Harveythehero.com. She is working on a memoir about recreating her life after the loss of her infant son, Harvey.
If you want to write your own Grief Soup recipe after listening to this tender conversation, please do.
Thank you for letting us be in your ears.
Grief and Gratitude is a created by Anne Gudger and Maria Gibson, a mom/daughter duo who talk about grief.
You can find them on Facebook at Coffee and Grief. Please join their private Facebook page: Coffee and Grief Community. You can also email them at: coffeeandgrief@gmail.com
Anne’s memoir, THE FIFTH CHAMBER, a memoir of loss and love, is forthcoming September 2023. It’s available for pre-order at your local bookstore and on Amazon and Barnes & Noble
and bookshop.org
