The word that came up when I was thinking about the year is “trust”…and that fits perfectly into why I don’t believe in resolutions. Resolutions cause a lot of damage, honestly, and a huge key for me in making the quantum-leap style changes I’ve undertaken in the last year was due in large part to the mindset shift of no longer allowing myself to buy into big, empty, uncommitted gestures. You need to get clear about the life you want, and the changes it will take - because often, a short term resolution won’t be able to get you there. Breaking promises to yourself - like new year’s resolutions - builds a pattern around a lack of self-trust, which leads to an unstable foundation and ultimately makes it hard to trust yourself on life decisions large and small.
When I think about what has changed and shifted for me in the past year, trust is really the key that changed everything. My mentor, whom I’ve had the ability to work with for several years, reflected to me that I can’t do anything without trust, and that working on my self trust was what I needed to make the changes I wanted to see happen. Trust requires emotional maturity and discernment - especially self trust, which is what I’ve really been thinking a lot about lately.
The internal experience of trusting yourself is really simple, because it just looks like following through on the promises you make to yourself. On the flipside, when you say you’re going to do something and then you don’t do it, you can also easily cause a lot of damage to yourself. It requires a lot of patience and a strong will to build patterns that allow you to trust yourself. The first step for building back self trust is to become aware of where and when you break trust with yourself - this is different for everyone, and you need to show yourself compassion and grace in this process. Next, you need to build up a desire for fulfilling your promises to yourself, and you also need to understand the pain of what breaking trust with yourself is actually costing you.
Rationalizing breaking your self trust is just you validating an excuse, a lie, that you’ve told yourself. Earning back your self trust doesn’t need to be hard - it just takes persistence, and work. Focus on one or two things that you want to change, and just keep doing it inch, by inch, by inch, to make the life you want. I’ll be talking about this more in the coming weeks, because the internal experience of trusting yourself is so vital, and this is a great time of year to be thinking about it.
If this resonated with you, don’t be afraid to let me know! I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. I teach this self trust theory and practice to my clients all the time, and I am eager to talk to more people all over the world, and to help more and more people choose the light that’s available to them. I’ll be creating new things and making some big changes in the podcast, so make sure you tune in to find our more!
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Edited by: Jess Schmidt
Logo: The Cultivated Group
Music: ‘Breathe out, Breathe in’ (Instrumental) by Roof
